So Brexit is here and the sky hasn’t fallen in – yet

Stockpiling food for an uncertain future might seem sensible – but Fiona soon learns a valuable lesson from the Macnaughties

T his is just to let you know that we have started to eat our way through the Brexit Cupboard.

Which could be a bit premature. Perhaps we should have waited to see how things pan out.

Yet, why not? The dreaded leaving date has come and gone. And the last time I looked the supermarket was still well stocked.

In fact, the last time I took a peek, noone was being rationed. And neither has the sky fallen in...

Famous last words! But back to my cupboard. You may recall that this was something that was started last year. When I began doing a bit of panicbuying. Dried milk, baked beans, bread mixes, water and wine – into the trolley.

Yes, six months ago all this nonperishable stuff was squirreled away. Just in case, you understand. There were the six bottles of olive oil, the packets of pasta. Plus two of those plastic squidgy lemons. I cannot do without my lemons.

Then there were all the other necessities. In my little storeroom are fat bags of pulses, a dozen tins of chopped tomatoes and several jars of herbs. There are also the packets of seeds. Lettuce, curly kale, beetroot – you name it come the shortages, we would have been be able to grow it. And pride of place in all of this was the Brexit Onion. You may remember me telling you about that one. A vast vegetable, the size of 20 regular onions, the thing was produced by a local champion grower. It was a veritable monster. Albeit a useful one.

For it held out the promise of servicing a whole soup kitchen – should that ever be necessary. It was reassuring.

Yet I have learned that onions are not on the long-lasting list. When we cut it open, just before Christmas, it had gone brown and wasn’t going to feed anyone.

All this stockpiling was for when the Brexit balloon went up. But now the thing has been launched and the sky is staying firmly put, things cannot go to waste. So, in I dive. Starting with the rice. Which makes a tasty risotto for a Monday night.

And this is just the beginning of the great eat-up. For the chief has decreed that no more food must be bought until we have worked our way through these extra supplies.

It is a simple case of Mother Hubbard. The Macgregor has declared that all

Lettuce, curly kale, beetroot – you name it, come the shortages we would have been able to grow it.

supermarkets must be avoided until the cupboard is bare. But there is one thing I missed in last year’s buying frenzy. And that is dog food.

What I thought the Macnaughties were going to eat I do not know. They would have had a go at the pasta and the baked beans.

But the curly kale would not have kept tails wagging. Neither would the lemon. But then a dog’s motto is live for the day. Or even the hour.

Maybe there’s a lesson there…

Plenty of supplies in the pantry – but what about the dog food? Picture: Shutterstock.