The Courier & Advertiser (Angus and Dundee)
Farewell my herd but a bull needs to do his summer job
If you’re looking for a definition of dreich, then today is definitely the day. We’ve got some fattening hoggs out in the front field looking very drookit, and instead of tucking into their cake, they’re all huddled next to the fence using the odd tree as some kind of shelter.
Of course the leaner ones look worse as the rain makes their fleece split along their spine, which always make me think they’ve got one of these haircuts that many of my Blairgowrie High School classmates and I had way back in the early 90s – the classic “middle parting”.
Along with looking 30 years behind the fashion curve, it also makes me think that it’ll be a good few weeks (and the feeding of a lot of expensive cake) before these lambs will be fat and hitting the scales at the market.
By the way, for those who aren’t from a farming background, cake is the name we give to cerealbased pelleted lamb or cattle feed. It’s not like we bake them actual cakes like carrot cake or Battenberg – we only do that on their birthdays!
The yowes are also looking a tad peeved with the weather. Only a few weeks ago I smugly posted a photo of them on my social media tucking into their fodder beet in unusually bone dry conditions. Well, today the field looks like a right bourach.
However, I still maintain that it’s worth it as the fodder beet is a high energy feed – the perfect rocket fuel for these pregnant ladies.
To be honest, I’m quite glad to see some wet weather just now as it’ll maybe mean that when
lambing starts in three weeks time (crikey .... not long now ) we will hopefully have some better weather for turning out lambs.
So, in a few weeks the fields here at Stralochy will start filling up with ewes and lambs, but for the first time in 26 years there will be no cows and calves as we have decided to sell our herd of 50 beef cows.
This isn’t a decision made lightly, but I had been considering it over the last few years as I was keen to simplify the
workload and make more time to really focus on my comedy diversification and expanding family.
What really broke the camel’s (or coo’s) back though was the fact we had a new young bull who spent all last summer firing blanks.
It sounds harsh, but now the decision has been made, there’s no going back and too many times in the past a cow has started to calve just as I was dressed and ready to go to a gig. Also, with the staggering
price of fertiliser and fuel, I’m not prepared to fork out all that money just to make winter feed.
I suppose I will miss their company in the shed next winter. I used to love watching them all lined up eating their hay at the end of the day, especially when it was “coorse” weather outside. However, I’ll have the time and the space to be properly organised for lambing next year without the hassle of mucking out in a mad panic and trying to convert the hayshed into
some sort of cattle shed with pallets and crash barriers so that we can get the yowes in when they start lambing in a blizzard.
As I mentioned before, our rapidly expanding family’s newest member is expected mid-april, so let’s hope he/she has the sense to wait till the last yowe has lambed! I’ll keep you posted.
On another note, I hope you are all tuning into Loggerheads on the BBC Scotland channel every Thursday? I am super
proud and very lucky to be part of this show, so fingers crossed for a second series.
I’m also pleased to announce a new stand-up tour around Scotland this autumn/winter entitled The Hills Have Ayes, and I’d love you all to come and hear a few more stories and gags about Teuchter life. Tickets are on sale now so keep an eye on local press or follow my Facebook page for dates and venues.
Wishing all my fellow fermers a successful and safe spring.