The Courier & Advertiser (Angus and Dundee)
PARTYING AND PACKING... THEN SHE’S GONE
Not wanting to brag but himself and the kids actually listened to me. And only the seventh time I asked, once I’d turned into angry Ursula from the Little Mermaid.
After working flat out for two days, the house was visitor-ready. Things “hidyied” away as opposed to actually sorted and stored properly. There just wasn’t time. But the house looked better than it had in years. We’ll just have no idea where anything is for a while.
Some educated wifey recently announced the 2023 Dulux colour of the year on the radio and I could not help but laugh as himself wandered round the house hanging some framed prints.
The professionally chosen recommended colour, Wild Wonder, is supposed to translate global insights. To match the mood of the moment. They chose one that is positive. Glowing. Inspired by the natural world. Allegedly to be used alongside complementary palettes to bring the magic of nature into the home…
Not in this house, my paint-making friends.
Wild Wonder will not be sighted underneath the wall art strategically positioned to hide scuff marks, scratches and tatty spots.
Everything else was stashed in our bedroom, which made going to bed after a few libations rather more interesting than usual, reminding us of parties in days gone by, where you slept where you fell.
Our plans for a family walk on Sunday were abandoned in favour of long lies. Even the dogs were shattered. AND due to the absence of the guest of honour, who had disappeared out with her mates long after our steam had run out.
By the time we’d finished insisting the Strictly judges knew nothing and we were better placed to advise re professional-standard lifts and kicks, we were fit only for bed. Thankfully, the only ones taking part in any demonstrations were the kids – himself’s need to throw me round a dance floor remaining firmly in our late 1990s Fat Sam’s days.
Have you packed yet? What about now? Don’t you think you should start putting some stuff into your suitcase? Shall I help? I don’t mind helping if it gets you started. Will we just pop your suitcase up on the table to make it easier? Are these the clothes you want to take? Oh, you’re having a nap? No problem, the empty suitcase causing my anxiety to spiral can just wait. Or I can just do it. There we go, all done.
Packing her case reminded how much fun having a teen around is. I enjoy nothing more than having someone point out every single thing you do wrong.
While simultaneously needing to be taught that 16 hoodies are not required in November in Australia and, no, I don’t know where the laces for your Converse are. Although it’s a valid question and you might want to check my room as that’s where every other random thing in this house now lives.
What about toiletries? Ah, silly me. She instigated that unwritten rule where if you need something and it’s available at your mum’s house, it’s yours.
Our drive to the airport was uneventful. I’m late for absolutely everything but you can guarantee I’ll be at the airport six hours before my flight. Parking was more expensive than our wedding reception. Checking in was thankfully smooth and swift. Security was chaotic, and that’s where we left them. I even managed not to bubble or show her up – rare for me.
I hung around Edinburgh like a lost soul. You know, just in case. Distracting myself by visiting Costco, while my cousin pointed out that my credit card, or himself, wouldn’t thank me for a giant 20ft light-up snowman family.
Once the flight had taken off (thank you stalkery flight tracker app) I made my way home. My playlist was a mix of maudlin and chipper tunes. Home in time for bed but not sleep. Because naturally I stayed up tracking her flight all the way to Oz.
I’m looking forward to being told how tired I look at work tomorrow. All because I stayed up all night obsessing over something I had no control over.