I don’t want to smell like Paris Hilton

“Do they feel that some of the stardust rubs off on them or that they somehow must be better if a famous person puts their name to them?”

THE REACTION was, perhaps, a little over the top. Shopping for stationery is a favourite pastime (I know, don’t judge me) so when I spotted a rather tasty A4 ringbinder, it was picked it up and added it to the basket happily.

It was only when glancing back down to peruse the matching items that it became clear that this was no ordinary line of stationery. This was a “Kirstie Allsopp” line of stationery.

The ringbinder was discarded with a snort (and I didn’t think people really did that) of derision. Buy why did it make such a difference?

The immediate assumption was that a “celebrity name” probably added a couple of quid, but it was more than that. It was the feeling that by buying the ringbinder I bought into Kirstie Allsopp.

No harm to the woman, and I know she seems to be handy with the pinking shears, but I wouldn’t buy a notebook designed by any other estate agent so why one that’s “off the telly”?

Celebrity products are nothing new but at least they used to be, primarily, for children or teenagers. I remember receiving a rather lovely ABBA toiletries set one Christmas in the mid-seventies, for example.

However, the propensity for well-known faces to be monetised in every conceivable way is truly out of control.

Celebrity fitness DVDs and George Foreman grills were, largely, relevant. Paul Newman’s salad dressings, now joined by a massive range of products that fund a charity, were understandable. Bill Wyman’s own-brand metal detector is less so.

To put the fragrance explosion into perspective, Paris Hilton, in the midst of her retail empire has eight fragrances. Eight. And she doesn’t even DO anything. She’s just Paris Hilton. Britney Spears has 11 fragrances. Antonio Banderas has seven. Let’s not even start to think about Brand Beckham.

Why are they popular? Why do people feel inclined to buy bedlinen designed in conjunction with Kylie Minogue or pink horse clothing by Katie Price or rock ‘n’ roll baby outfits by Bon Jovi drummer Tico Torres?

Do they feel that some of the stardust rubs off on them or that they somehow must be better if a famous person puts their name to them?

Bizarrely, when the late Jade Goody, released a perfume in 2006, it flew off the shelves. She was an ordinary girl put into extraordinary circumstances, so did that make girls like her empathise? Similarly, that girl from that Essex thing, Amy Childs, has a full website store selling clothing lines, fragrances, beauty products and accessories.

It’s almost understandable that people would buy cookware by celebrity chefs, something that comes with the promise of creating the same level of cuisine. The promise, not the guarantee, of course.

That ringbinder, however. That wasn’t chosen on the back of a name but rejected because of it. That’s from a point of view that celebrity culture has had a negative influence on the whole planet. I won’t buy into it or its stationery.