Take a seat
A Fife reader tells the story of a man who went to a Hampden Park cup final. He spotted an empty seat with a good view and asked if there was anyone sitting there. The man in the next seat said to go ahead and sit down.
He then explained that the seat was his wife’s, but that she had died. The visitor asked if none of his friends had wanted to have the seat.
“Ach no,” the man replied. “They’re a’ awa’ tae the funeral.”