What’ s the beef with all the cow abuse? Let’ s see

Point a camera at cattle, they won’t mind it, but don’t take a dog in there with you – they’re wont to scare the poor methane machines

The poor old cow is having a bad press at the moment. All that methane gas. All those claims of global warming. Then there’s the alleged worry about eating too much red meat. For my part, there is nothing more delicious than a juicy steak. Cooked medium rare, of course.

And if we are casting blame, what about all that air and car travel? What about the fires that are burning and the oil that is gushing?

Sure, livestock is a part of the problem. But at a Scottish cow research centre, they are trying to work out how to make these animals more environmentally friendly.

This week finds me at an agricultural college. Where we are filming a herd of Holstein Friesians. For the uninitiated, these are dairy cattle. And very content they seem, too.

Tails are swishing. Tongues are slurping. The girls are chomping away on what looks like a complicated mix of hay and grains. And they are being put through a series of scientific tests. This is leading research and the aim is to find the most appropriate food. A diet that will produce the least methane and the best quality milk.

Our camera rolls and along comes a scientist with a meter. It reads the amount of gas being expelled. And, to my surprise, the small machine is not pointed where you would imagine the stuff might emerge from.

Apparently, most of the gas from a cow comes from the mouth. It is something to do with their four stomachs. The ladies munch away. They are not bothered by the meter. Perhaps they are used to it by now. But they are interested in the camera. For cows are curious creatures – and they can be excitable.

Earlier this year I was crossing one of our fields with a friend from London when I suddenly remembered the farmer had just put some young cattle in. And there we were. Now being semicharged by two steers.

Up they careered. Backing us into a stone wall. I am sure they meant no harm, but it was unnerving. Uncertain what to do, I picked up a large stick and waved it at them. And still they came closer, hot cow breath now in our faces.

Eventually, I shouted loudly and tapped one of them on the nose. He jumped back. So did his mate – and we were able to make our escape.

It put me off going into the field for a while. And it has certainly deterred my friend off from visiting again. You see, it was a Saturday. And that is the day she

And if we are casting blame, what about all that air and car travel? What about the fires that are burning?

normally puts on her gladrags and goes shopping in London.

It could have been worse, I suppose. At least the MacNaughties were not with us at the time. For if humans can interest, dogs will drive cows mad.

So, roll on the research – and, remember, please do not take a dog into a field of cows.

Scientists are trying to find a way to make cows more environmentally friendly by changing their diets.