The Courier & Advertiser (Fife Edition)
A right royal challenge as Charles and Camilla take the reins on Rwanda trip
It isn’t the best time for the Commonwealth, that “family of nations” which emerged out of the fading era of British colonialism and which still, it would seem, holds a special place in the heart of our own dear queen.
And Lord knows, she needs as much fun as she can get at the moment, apart from opening the new Elizabeth transport line while wearing an outfit that made her appear eerily reminiscent of Tweetie Pie or trundling around the Chelsea Flower Show in a golf buggy.
Good for her. In the wake of farming out the Queen’s Speech to the future King she is obviously choosing the jobs she likes best and leaving the rest of the boring bits and dross she’s been dealing with for decades to the family-in-waiting.
As a result, the good old Commonwealth is now becoming very much the bailiwick of the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall, whose upcoming poisoned chalice – oops, sorry, official function – is to attend next month’s Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting in Rwanda as representatives of Her Maj.
One can only hope that they are being better prepared and briefed than the Cambridges and Wessexes about the sad but increasingly obvious fact that many Commonwealth members are more than a bit brassed off not only with past treatment at the hands of the aforementioned Empire but also with the uncomfortable position of the incumbent of the British throne still being their head of state.
Many of them are finding a solution in the notion of waving “cheery bye” and their own flag before you can say “Platinum Jubilee”.
Me, I reckon that the Home Office might be working a bit of flanker here, sending Charles and Camilla out on a secret mission with instructions from Priti Patel to scope out the new immigration processing centres being set up to deal with those unfortunates attempting to escape the horrors of war, economic collapse and famine and settle in inflation-beset, costof-living critical, energy bill-bound, foodbank-festooned Britain.
In the meantime, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the ever-murky waters of GB’s international relations, it appears that no less a figure than the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, is leading the charge in trying to have the present Secretary General of the Commonwealth, former barrister, diplomat and Labour Government Minister, Baroness Patricia Scotland, ejected from the job.
The reason, apparently, is because he
feels that she has presided over a period characterised by “lack of modernisation” in the organisation she heads, which is interesting coming from a man whose government’s activities have, to date (with apologies to Rishi “Energy Profits Levy” Sunak), catapulted many of its inhabitants back into the Dickensian era.
It’s also fascinating to note that the Secretary General was in the past investigated for getting round the usual competitive tendering process required in her job and awarding a contract to a consultancy headed by a mate and that she was also criticised for “extravagant spending on her grace-and-favour apartment” in London’s Mayfair, including the purchase of wallpaper at a cost of £10,500.
Makes Carrie Johnson’s refurb of No. 10 with wall-coverings costing 850 quid a roll look like the work of a rank amateur. But
you would have thought that a woman with this kind of experience in her background would have been close to Boris’s perfect candidate for any job you care to name.
Mind you, all this did afford a bit of a giggle when I read in a headline that Boris Johnson was “trying to oust Lady Scotland”. For a sublime moment of deepest surrealism, a vision flashed before my eyes of him attempting a square go with Nicola Sturgeon.
Me, I’d sell tickets for that one plus, in the interests of the greater gaiety of nations, I’d get the Queen and her buggy a ring-side seat. And my money’d be on Wee Nippy, every time…
• What did I tell you? Never let it be said that Helen “finger on the pulse” Brown lets you down when it comes to predicting what the government will do next.
In the wake of the Chancellor’s
announcement last Thursday, I give you the final paragraph of my introductory item from no further ago than last Monday, re what was even then being regarded as the “unlikely” windfall tax.
“Politicos have not ruled it out which, on previous and current form, means it will be a done deal before you can sing: “The Partygate’s over…”.
No flowers, just money...
The Queen is obviously choosing the jobs she likes best