The Courier & Advertiser (Perth and Perthshire Edition)
Touchline terrors
In his new book, BBC Sportsound reporter Richard Gordon tackles the fearsome reputation of the dugout, where emotions can boil over and grown men lose control. Michael Alexander spoke to him.
From the vintage tones of Archie MacPherson to the classified results-style of the late James Alexander Gordon, there are some voices which are instantly synonymous with football broadcasting.
Someone else who needs no introduction is the man regarded as the voice of the modern day Scottish game, Richard Gordon.
Over a 23-year broadcasting career, the Aberdeen-supporting former Clydesdale Bank worker has amassed a wealth of anecdotes and funny stories from his time as Radio Scotland’s Sportsound anchor.
And it is this collection, gathered from managers, players, referees, linesmen, supporters and broadcasters, which he has plundered for his new book Tales from the Dugout: Football at the Sharp End.
With input from the likes of Gordon Strachan, Craig Brown, Terry Butcher and Pat Nevin, he explores how the act of putting a calm, relatively sane manager into the dugout at a football match can distort them into irrational agitators, ready to contest and debate every decision, no matter how minor.
When the red mist descends, the outcome can involve arguing with officials, opposing the coaching staff and on occasion even physical confrontation, proving that the small area by the side of the pitch is no place for the faint-hearted.
Untold stories
Speaking to The Courier as he prepared to head off to cover another big game for the BBC, Richard, 55, said: “Inevitably, there were anecdotes which I cannot retell in full, either because the interviewee in question prefers not to have them aired, or they would be difficult to fully substantiate.
“Those include the one about the international footballer who refused to go on as a second half substitute in a vital match for his country because he was sulking at having not been selected to start the match and various accounts of physical bust-ups in technical areas and dressing rooms.
“Thankfully, there are countless stories and insights that can be told.”
Richard conducted around 80 interviews for the book.
Roughly 95% of the stories were ones he had never heard before, with plenty from the grounds of Tayside and Fife clubs.
His favourite anecdote relates to Craig Brown’s time as manager at Clyde and a match against Forfar Athletic at Station Park, where Archie Knox was player-manager.
Knox went for a high ball with Clyde player Sean Sweeney and when they landed his studs twisted into Sweeney’s ear. The injury looked bad as Brown, dressed smartly in blazer and tie, ran on to the pitch and started chasing Knox, with the referee oblivious.
Knox, who was regarded as a “hard man”, got such a shock that he ran away, leaving Brown to be frogmarched off by police and landed with a fivematch ban.
In another memorable tale, former Dundee United and Forfar legend Dave “Psycho” Bowman candidly recalls the build-up to the infamous game at Stranraer in September 2001 which landed him an unprecedented 17-match suspension.
“Flipped”
Ex-Dundee United assistant manager Billy Dodds also tells of an episode in 2005 when the-then manager Gordon Chisholm “flipped” in the dugout after going 2-0 down against Hearts at Tannadice.
Chisholm kicked out at a water bottle in the dugout – but his shoe came flying off and he smashed Utd’s new Spanish striker David Fernandez in the face, requiring him to go off and get three stitches at half-time.
Elsewhere, Jim Duffy, the former Dundee boss, relates how larger-thanlife club chairman Ron Dixon, famous for installing a greyhound racing circuit at Dens Park in the early-to-mid-1990s, once ordered him to have the goalposts removed because they were “making the dog track look untidy”.
And there’s an honest admission from ex-Cowdenbeath manager Jimmy Nicholl about the time he was the “most unprofessional I’ve ever been” during a football match.
It concerns the club’s remarkable game against Stirling Albion at Forthbank in March 2011 when, after finding his side being thrashed 3-0 with 13 minutes to go, Nicholl threw on three subs telling them it “doesn’t matter what you do”.
Cowdenbeath came back to win the game 4-3 amid “utter mayhem” in the technical area.
Richard’s footballing passion spilled into print with the release of his first “labour of love” Aberdeen book, Glory in Gothenburg in October 2012. It was followed by Scotland 74: A World Cup Story in May 2014.
Having hosted almost 3,000 shows since making his Radio Scotland debut, he is now freelance and is a regular MC at dinners across Scotland.
As any fan will tell you, football is a serious business. However, there is always time for a bit of humour and that is what he has set out to reflect in his latest publication.
He added: “In Scottish football there seems to be just the one certainty… anything can and will happen and when it does, it will be accompanied by howls of laughter.”
In Scottish football there seems to be just one certainty... anything can and will happen.
RICHARD GORDON