Fife sexual abuse survivor tried to kill himself

A Fife man who was sexually assaulted on numerous occasions by his Boys’ Brigade drumming instructor in the 1980s and 90s has spoken of the long term damage caused by abuse.

In an exclusive interview with The Courier, 41-year-old John (his name has been changed to protect his identity) has revealed how years after being molested as a teenager, he is still haunted by the experiences.

The abuse drove him to become an alcoholic in his 20s and 30s, saw him try to take his own life and has left him unable to form meaningful relationships with any partner since.

John was abused by his drumming instructor between the ages of 14 and 19. It started in his local BB hall when the man took him into a drumming cupboard to try on his kilt and he was “touched up”. From there it developed into abuse that became even more sexual.

The abuse only ended when John, then aged 19, decided “enough was enough” and told his abuser to stop.

“I’d tried to forget all about it. I’d become an alcoholic, I’d tried to kill myself, all these things,” explained John.

“But it all came flooding back one Friday around two years ago when I got a knock at the door out of the blue and found two plain clothed CID officers standing on my doorstep.

“Then they just came out with it. ‘We are investigating allegations of historic abuse and we have reason to believe you may have had contact with him or been a victim’.”

John had never spoken to police about what he went through. But he was tracked down after his name was mentioned to officers by another alleged victim who had stepped forward.

Within 24 hours, John found himself being interviewed at his local police station trying to recall events that had happened 25 years earlier.

It turned out police were speaking to six or seven potential victims.

John was set to appear at Dundee Sheriff Court as a witness in the trial last summer but he was spared the ordeal hen the accused pled guilty. He was jailed for 163 days and placed on the sex offenders register for seven years.

“People ask why did I let it happen? Why did I not report it?”added John.

“But I was only 14 when it started. I was frightened. I was terrified. But he was on a pedestal. I looked up to him. I idolised him. It was definitely a power thing he had over me. I’ve since come to realise it was not my fault.”