It’s all in the name of the fine whisky game

Ihave often pondered what mental convolutions a whisky firm’s marketing team goes through when proposing the name for a new whisky. Presumably the name would be in English, as whisky comes from an English-speaking country. However, a whisky aimed at, say, young professionals in Eastern Europe would be named differently to one targeted at wealthy Spaniards or South Americans.

Yet when I scan the labels of the many blended Scotches, I’m struck by how many use words linked to royalty or nobility – Highland Queen, Royal Salute, Windsor, House of Lords, Highland Earl, Queen Anne, King’s Ransom, to name but a few. Animals, or names linked to them, also score quite highly – Famous Grouse, White Horse, Black and White, Deerstalker, Black Bull, to mention a quick list.

And there are more whiskies than one can shake a stick at that have the word “Highland” or “Highlander” on the label. And there are countless single and blended malts with the word “Glen”.

And although their use has diminished, many whiskies, particularly in the past, had military overtones – Black Watch, 100 Pipers, Thin Red Line, Claymore and so on. Others hinted how distilling was first done by religious orders – think of The Abbot’s Choice and Ye Monks.

However, in the current era of globalisation and modernity, marketing teams struggling to find suitable names can possibly take comfort from one of the most successful blends in Korea being called Scotch Blue and a successful blend in Kazakhstan being labelled Noble Eagle.

The easiest route would be for them to name the whisky after a well-known Scottish landmark. But the problem is many landmark names have already been used (Ben Nevis, Glencoe, Scapa, Loch Lomond) or the name is already owned and registered by one of the big drinks giants – and they will not part with it, or else set a price tag that the likes of King Midas would balk at.

The same problem applies to names of bygone successful whiskies. They may have vanished off the shelves generations ago, but their names still belong to one of the big boys who over the decades have bought the assets of many ailing firms – including the rights to all their brand names.

One way out could be to create a Scottish-sounding place name that doesn’t actually exist – like Glen Garstane or Strath Whindle. Or a strong-sounding surname like Callum MacStrang. Yet what may sound a good name in Scotland may sound slightly daft or even louche in the country or countries the new whisky is aimed at. Russia’s long-gone Lada cars had to be rebadged for Sweden because in Swedish “lada” means barn door. Definitely a case of let the byre beware?