QuOtes Of the day

“I would have said get out of this business immediately.” Actor Johnny Depp on what he would have told his younger self. “I just don’t want to come last, really. If we get no points I’ll be disappointed, but anything else is going to be a win. All I’ve got to do is not go on and fall flat on my face and hit a bum note.” Lucie Jones, the UK singer in the Eurovision Song Contest. “A bunch of X Factor rejects? That just says it all. How horrible is that? Isn’t it just a colossal waste of money not to take it a bit more seriously and try a little harder?” Katrina Leskanich, who won the Eurovision Song Contest for the UK 20 years ago. “Freud’s theory was that when a joke opens a window and all those bats and bogeymen fly out, you get a marvellous feeling of relief and elation. The trouble with Freud is that he never had to play the old Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night after Rangers and Celtic had both lost.” Sir Ken Dodd.