Social media mix-up leads to blunder with baby name

As Fiona enters that next stage in life, she marvels at the ability to access all sorts of personal details at the touch of a button

We are of that age and it is starting to happen. People are approaching the next stage of life. They are becoming grannies and grandpas. One friend’s daughter has just had a baby. And as I have known the new mother since she was a toddler I go to the shops in search of a present.

TK Maxx is a good bet when it comes to children’s clothing.

There are rows of tiny tot outfits. It is toddler chic – without the Bond Street designer price tag.

Choosing baby clothes, especially baby girl clothes, is a delightful way to spend a morning.

Browsing the rails, it is a toss-up between a pink bunny-decorated sleep suit and a lightweight cream and white knitted dress.

In the end I go for the latter. It is perfect. Babies grow quickly and this will fit in six months’ time.

Back at home the offering is carefully wrapped in tissue paper. But as I come to fill in the accompanying card I realise I have forgotten the newborn’s name.

So I ask my daughter to check it out on Facebook. The young can find out family facts in the blink of an eye.

All personal detail seems to be up there and available these days. Two minutes later I get the answer. “She’s called Penelope.” Penelope. It has that feel of glamour. Think of the raven-haired actress, Penelope Cruz. Or the bottle blonde Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds.

Yet today Penelope is perhaps an unusual choice. A look down the list of popular names ranks it 965th. At least it features in the top one thousand….

I muse on the fact that this babe may well, at some stage, end up being called Penny, or even Pippa.

Whatever the wee mite answers to, I have seen the pictures and she looks adorable.

I take the present to our friend’s house and pop it on the kitchen table.

“There’s a little something for Penelope,” I say. “We can’t wait to meet her.”

Our friend looks a bit bemused. “It’s a dress,” I continue. “It’s been wonderful to have an excuse to go out and buy something pretty.” “You’ve bought Penelope a dress?” “Yes, it’s really sweet. It won’t fit now, but it should do in a few months...”

Then comes the laughter.

Whatever the wee mite answers to, I have seen the pictures and she looks adorable

“That’s really kind, but why would you buy Penelope a dress? Penelope is the dog!”

And then it dawns. Penelope is a tiny MacNaughty with a sleek black coat.

She is a handbag hound with a straight back and a pointed nose.

Yet all this is not as stupid as it might seem. For canine clothing is big business. The other day I saw one pooch pounding the pavement in a tartan jacket and boots. Mind, he or she did not look very happy.

A coat may be useful to keep a vulnerable dog warm and dry but, I’m sure you’ll agree, dresses are for babies.

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