The Courier & Advertiser (Perth and Perthshire Edition)
City legend in his own lunchtime talks tweets
EXCLUSIVE: ‘I don’t sell cheeseburgers I sell dreams’ – Bob Servant lifts lid on his sensational social media moments
He’s the Dundee cheeseburger tycoon who has taken the word of Twitter by storm. Be it embarrassing grill-related injuries at his Broughty Ferry van, mixed meat burger origin scandals or spurious claims about his role in the origins of Bhangra music in the UK, Bob Servant is a man never far from controversy.
When not frying for punters at his van, the Dundee Cheeseburger Wars veteran and self-declared “genuine legend” can be found at either a roller disco in Arbroath or taking part in a bout of kabaddi at Broughty Ferry Beach.
With Bob’s Twitter account now nearing 38,000 followers, The Courier sat down with him at his static caravan in Pitlochry to talk through – and demand some explanations on – his top 10 most outrageous moments on social media.
BLAIR DINGWALL:
We’re joined today by Twitter sensation, and Dundee cheeseburger tycoon, Bob Servant.
Hello Bob, thank you for joining us. Tell me, sold many cheeseburgers today?
BOB SERVANT:
I don’t sell cheeseburgers, I sell dreams.
BD: Sold many dreams today? BS: No.
BD: We’re here today to discuss some of your most sensational moments on Twitter. Since joining the site in 2012 your account has amassed almost 40,000 followers. The Courier’s data journalist Lesley-Anne Kelly has pulled together your 10 most popular tweets and you’ve agreed to provide us with a bit of context behind each one.
BOB SERVANT’S TOP TWEETS
1. “20 years ago today, on a sunny day in Broughty Ferry, I turned to the most beautiful woman in the world and said “Sod it, let’s get married!” Yes it was reckless, but I’ve never once regretted it. Even though the woman said no and asked me to go and sit somewhere else on the bus.”
BD: Did this encounter put you off the idea of marriage?
BS: No, just that bus route.
2. “Just voted in the European Elections. Gave it a huge amount of thought and in the end went for Albania. They work hard and they deserve it. Give me hope Tirana, in the morning sun. Give me hope Tirana, till the day is done.”
BD: Why Albania?
BS: I studied their history and culture over several months and felt it was a natural fit. And because Tirana rhymes with Joanna.
3. “20 yrs ago a young man said to me “I have no qualifications, poor eyesight + I’m not a people person but if you give me a job then I’ll give you everything I have”. I said you start tomorrow. I believe in people. Sacked him two days later for gross negligence but point still applies.”
BD: Can you tell us any more about the sacking offence?
BS: He told a punter what was in their burger. That information should always be kept strictly private out of respect for the punter, the burger and the animals-birds who have chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to join our menu.
4. “In 1993 I was proud to be the first Dundee vanner to announce that women could order burgers at my hatch without having to be escorted by a husband or male relative to guard against giddiness. It was the right decision then, it is the right decision today. #InternationalWomensDay.”
BD: What is the biggest change you’ve seen in the burger van trade since you started out?
BS: Health and Safety boo boy madness. Last week I was told to stop advertising my vegetarian-friendly
burger, because it was just a normal burger sold in a friendly way to vegetarians.
5. “A life-changing punter offer awaits. My 20,000th follower will win a burger, an unlimited onions card, free use of my static caravan in Pitlochry on any Monday in January (winner takes own gas), and a five-minute “gee up” phone call (available 2-3am only). Please RT like maniacs.”
BD: Did the winner enjoy their prize? BS: No. And, in hindsight, I should have made it clearer that the caravan is unfurnished.
6. “Sad to hear of the conviction of my old pal El Chapo. I was lucky enough to meet El Chapo at a roller disco in Arbroath in 1984. He was wearing a pair of denim shorts that caused a rubbernecking divorcee to banjo herself against a pillar + I’ve kept an eye on his career ever since.”
BD: Have you been in touch with El Chapo since his conviction in February? BS: Yes, to get my shorts back.
7. “A happy retirement to my old friend David Dimbleby. I was lucky enough to meet David at a roller disco in Arbroath in 1984.
He was wearing a pair of denim shorts that caused a rubbernecking divorcee to banjo herself against a pillar and I’ve kept an eye on his career ever since.”
BD: Can you tell us any more about those wild roller discos of Arbroath in the early 1980s? BS: If you can remember the Arbroath roller discos of the early 1980s, then you weren’t there.
8. “32 years ago today, over a few cans of Kestrel at Invergowrie Services, I said to the Bangles swap binman for Egyptian and you’ve got a hit. The rest is history.”
BD: Have you ever tried your hand at songwriting yourself? BS: Yes, I’m in talks with arguably Monifieth’s third best busker to put together Spatula Dreams – The Bob Servant Musical.
9. “Ignore a taxi driver and they go in the huff. Pop in for a chat with a pilot and all hell breaks loose. They can’t have it both ways.”
BD: What did you say to the pilot? BS: That his performance lacked panache. Which it did.
10.. “I have been the victim of a desperately cruel though admittedly well worked practical joke. FYI, MBEs are not awarded by a text message from the Queen and she does not say “mucho congrats” in real life.”
BD: Have Tayside Police Division found the joker behind this text? BS: They told me it was low priority, par for the course with that mob. I know for a fact that they spend most of their time playing table tennis and doing each other’s hair.
BD: Which celebrity would you most like to have as a follower on Twitter? BS: Annie Lennox. Forcing our relationship into the open would be good for both of us.
Read more about Bob Servant , the fictional comic creation of Dundee writer Neil Forsyth, by visiting bobservant.co.uk and following him on Twitter at @bobservant