The Courier & Advertiser (Perth and Perthshire Edition)
THE SEASON OF CHRISTMAS MUM IS ALMOST HERE
Is anyone else a little scared about how fast time is actually going? And yet it’s also not. All at once. Ask me what I did yesterday. I hate that. With a heavy sigh, I can recall that I breathed a lot, took a lot of pills, probably got mad at something, and answered some emails.
The list goes on but honestly, I don’t know. If
you want to hear something more exciting from me, you’ll need to start scheduling concerts in the morning for people over 45.
I revisited work emails I sent yesterday. I sound unhinged. Almost every one: “Hello! I am very excited to be chatting with you! Can you tell by the number of exclamation marks?! Here is one sentence with only a full stop so I don’t come across as manic. Look forward to doing business with you, thanks!” Good grief.
Wouldn’t it be handy if the clocks had gone back about six years instead of just an hour and I could sort out my life, and my grammar? I accept, with an element of disbelief, it is the end of November – 2021 is almost over and I enjoyed approximately 15 days in total.
Between health complications, having Covid, the business struggling and house repairs taking an eternity, I am waiting on December with open arms.
I will be skipping the last week in November to
transition into “Christmas Mum” effective immediately. From here on out, everything is Santa-fricking-jolly, covered in fairy lights and magical.
Music I used to get drunk to shall now provide the soundtrack for cleaning the house. We can’t possibly put up the tree without hoovering and rearranging the furniture. We won’t even be able to see who disapproves of “too early” decorations over the glare of our Christmas tree lights.
Christmas jammies will be promoted to acceptable daywear status, big coats easily covering T-shirts announcing: “The elves made me do it.” Regularly appearing “dead inside mum” shall resume in January. Meantime, thank you for your co-operation.
We will watch Elf on repeat and any queries, we will answer with: “What would Mariah do?”
I shall make many plans and get overexcited when they’re cancelled because by the time I finish getting ready, I am so exhausted, I’m ready to take a nap.
It is officially “once I’m home, I’m not coming back
out” season, even if Mother Nature keeps throwing out temperatures in a fashion like a lottery ball draw.
Folks say: “Go big or go home.” Is choosing home a bad thing? You better believe I’m choosing going home.
And I’m going to lie down when I get there.
My mood is currently ducking and diving faster than the Big Dipper. One friend passed from cancer, another (hallelujah) got the all-clear. Himself is back from COP26. The house still unfinished.
We had some fabulous customers this week, yet I also ended up having a row with two. In the street. Outside our premises. Not my finest hour but, in my defence, we are there to provide excellent food and service. My staff are not on hand to be abused or have conspiracy theories about the pandemic thrown at them alongside refusals to wear a mask. This was neither welcomed nor appreciated.
Sometimes I believe the biggest current-day communication problem is we do not listen to understand; we listen to reply. I shall endeavour to be
better. To practise listening. Practise pausing. Pause
whenever I’m about to react and try to avoid doing and saying things I’ll later regret.
However, I’ll never regret defending my polite, dedicated, hardworking staff from abuse.
I like people who march to the beat of their own drum, and who make it
their business to help those around them. I like people who give compliments to strangers in the supermarket and smile at babies in prams. I like people who begin by blurting out things, who
overshare and take genuine interest instead of staid platitudes. I like people passionate about ideas and excited about others’ success stories.
Let’s collect all these people. So if you see me humming and dancing to Christmas music for the rest of November, please remember it costs nothing to worry about yourself. You’re even welcome to join in.