Man about town

The Duchess of Grub Street

the artiste formerly known as

Meghan Markle — now Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex — has written a children’s book, The Bench. This has been greeted with excitement (in America) and dismay (in Britain). Personally, I’m delighted that one of the world’s most controversial women has decided to take a well-earned break from causing controversy to embark on the more sedate pursuit of a literary career. A profession where, famously, it is impossible to wreak havoc.

I shall hope to run into her, swaying slightly as she sips lukewarm white wine, at the end of a bibulous party at Daunt’s on Marylebone High Street. Perhaps, in her refreshed state, she will be willing to spill revelatory titbits of gossip about her fellow royal authors.

Did Fergie really write Budgie the Little Helicopter herself, or was it ghosted by Will Self? Did Prince Charles base his protagonist The Old Man of Lochnagar on the philosopher Isaiah Berlin, or the comedian Max Wall? And are the rumours true that the Duke of York has spent his enforced leisure time writing a hard-hitting series of books featuring an uncompromising and much-misunderstood detective, Andrew Prince?