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Set aside some time to­gether, you will find it eas­ier to sort through de­tails, catch up with one an­other and make de­ci­sions to­gether.

Trans­late one neg­a­tive com­ment into a tact­ful non­per­sonal state­ment in your mind. Pre­vent your­self from prac­tis­ing “grudge talk” inside your own head.

You will be faced with some in­ter­est­ing stresses in the chaos you en­counter. Do not sweat that stress ar­rives; you are go­ing to need to ren­o­vate those in­ner walls, too.

Try to set up the day with re­wards that fol­low te­dious tasks. Break up the day, pace your­selves, let the kids know when they are re­leased from oblig­a­tory clean-up. As­sign some­one to pre­pare the re­ward. Plan for bal­ance.

If you have dif­fer­ent ideas, you can mea­sure which one of you feels most strongly about their pref­er­ence, and then see if you can live with im­ple­ment­ing some form of that pre­ferred op­tion. As a com­pro­mise, you can even di­vide up the fi­nal de­ci­sion by hav­ing one per­son choose the colours, for ex­am­ple, while the other chooses the form.

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