The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - Review
THE LOSERS
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
“Well, that’s settled then” isn’t the pithiest of catchphrases. But it’s how we remember the Queen in The Crown – whether as plucky Claire Foy, prim Olivia Colman or dour Imelda Staunton. Shame, as it’s her show. By prioritising duty above all else, she’s too often portrayed as hands-off and distant, particularly when it comes to her children (in one scene, Charles suggests social services would have hauled her off had they been “a normal family”). When she asks her private secretary to draw up briefing documents on her four children’s hobbies – “One would hate to appear remotely remote” – she confirms her remoteness. The Crown portrays her as the one thing society cannot forgive – a bad mother.
PRINCE PHILIP
The Duke of Edinburgh is perhaps The Crown’s most ambiguous character. Under Matt Smith, the young Philip comes across as both loyal (to the Queen) and a philanderer (from the Queen). However, he soon finds his feet and, portrayed in the middle years by Tobias Menzies, becomes a general good egg. However, the heavy focus in series five on his relationship with Penny Knatchbull, and some frankly beastly comments to Her Majesty, have besmirched his name. There’s also this veiled warning to Diana when she suggests she might break away from the family: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” purrs Philip. “Let’s just say I can’t see it ending well for you.”
PRINCESS ANNE
A moody, unsmiling, contrary, direct and tough third fiddle. This would sum up how Princess Anne is presented in Peter Morgan’s drama. She feels overlooked and neglected, she hates the press and she’s jealous of her sister-in-law Diana. There are flashes of the human beneath the surface (especially when portrayed in her youth by Erin Doherty) and there are glimpses of humour (“I look like a hydrangea,” she says, wearing a ball gown, to Andrew Parker Bowles). I’d have liked much more of that. In the real world, the Princess Royal is considered a decent sort. Here, particular in middle-age (played by Claudia Harrison), she’s a joyless frump.
TED HEATH
Of the many prime ministers depicted so far in The Crown, Michael Maloney’s Ted Heath comes out the worst. He only gets seven minutes, but in that time he gets strips torn off him by the Queen for loftily mocking Harold Wilson and for failing to sufficiently tackle the crisis caused by the striking miners. Most heinous of all, he’s scared of corgis. Heath gets a reprieve of sorts when he stands up to Arthur Scargill at a meeting in No 10. But it’s too little, too late. Scared of corgis! To the Tower with him. Heath may not ultimately come off worst, however, as it has been said that a certain Tony Blair was the late Queen’s least favourite PM.
PRINCE ANDREW
Reckless, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. But let’s talk about how he’s perceived in The Crown. Prince Andrew (played by James Murray) is best summed up by the scene where he arrives for lunch with his mother in a Royal Navy helicopter. He’s thin-skinned, particularly when brother Charles calls him a “fringe” member of the family at his own wedding, and one scene featuring his one-time girlfriend Koo Stark foreshadows later controversies. But at least Andrew got this zinger about his wife Fergie over her scandalous affair: “I know people tell me I’m putting my foot in it from time to time – at least I don’t put it in someone’s mouth.” Bang! He’s still a rotter though.
TOMMY LASCELLES
With a delivery drier than one of Princess Margaret’s Martinis, Pip Torrens’s killjoy enforcer is one of The Crown’s most memorable characters. But he’s still a killjoy enforcer. As Philip puts it, Lascelles is “stuck in the land that time forgot”. An enemy of unbecoming tittle-tattle, the private secretary to both George VI and the Queen could send chills up courtiers at 20 paces. Genuinely terrifying. With a stiff upper lip that could crack concrete, Lascelles is the face of a colder, harder monarchy.
Episodes 1-4 of the sixth and final season of The Crown will be available on Netflix this Thursday; episodes 5-10 will be available from Thursday 14 December