KITTED OUT Star exhibits

Trajan’s Column – that magnificent sculptural paean to our late emperor’s military prowess. Amid the many, many depictions of the great man himself, you’ll see men from North Africa among the prestigious cavalry force. The people of Africa have always been superior to us in creative stratagem. It’s worth getting to know them.

Take tips for livening up your cuisine. The food in the army can be pretty dicey – Terentianus complains of food poisoning after some dodgy fish – but you get what you pay for. And when you’re paying for food out of your own earnings, well, you don’t want to spend too much, do you? You’ll eat in the morning and again in the late afternoon. The grains and beans can be monotonous, but you’ll enjoy the pork and game. I recommend sourcing some coriander and figs to cheer up your plate. There’s always wine. True, we have to pay towards it, but the annual December festive feast is truly something to write home about. Io, Saturnalia!

The comradeship is good but times can be lonely. Only our superiors – the centurions and higher-ranking officials – are legally allowed to marry. The emperor doesn’t want to be paying out for too many military families, does he? Many of us have “wives” and children all the same. What do semantics matter? If the gods love you, you may even be able to afford your own slave-woman one day.

Make it to discharge, and your marriage may officially be recognised, and you will finally receive your bonus. You may cheer, but you will never see anyone look as happy as the auxiliary next to you as he finally gets citizenship to share with his family. One slept with his metal citizenship certificate by his bed in Pompeii. It was quite touching.

The retirement package is decent, but don’t get too excited about the pension. I shouldn’t tell you this, but most of us don’t live long enough to receive it. That’s another thing we have to pay for – our funerals. But put all that out of your mind, dear boy, and seize the day! You’re a soldier now. Fare thee well, dear friend, ave, and do bring us back a good souvenir.

Legion is at the British Museum, London WC2 (britishmuseum.org) from Feb 1-June 23. Daisy Dunn’s The Missing Thread: A New History of the Ancient World Through the Women Who Shaped It (W&N, £25) will be published on May 23

SCUTUM The world’s only intact legionary’s semi-cylindrical scutum (shield), discovered in present-day Syria

HELMET Example of a Roman legionary’s copper alloy helmet with cheek guard and plume holder

CUIRASS The oldest, most complete legionary’s segmental armour, found in the Teutoborg forest