Is it time to put your mind on a diet?

Former restaurateur Philippe Tahon shows Boudicca FoxLeonard how to achieve the right mindset for healthy eating

hen I look at the guy in the picture I feel so many things,” says Philippe Tahon, with a sigh. We’re sitting in his spotless kitchen in west London. On his laptop is a photo of a young man on holiday, downcast and out of shape. “That man, you know, is me,” he says, in his accented English.

Twenty years ago, Tahon was a successful restaurateur in Brussels, ostensibly happily married, with a young family and a wide circle of friends. He was also 30lb heavier than he is now, and secretly miserable.

Behind the exciting career and the merry dinner parties with friends, there lurked a truth that Tahon struggled to acknowledge; he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin and he overate to compensate.

“I was this really nice guy who was always entertaining friends and being jolly. But it was a persona. It was a way for me to be loved by others and to have recognition,” says the 55-year-old.

Tahon tried countless diets, losing weight each time, only to put it back on again. Then he went into therapy. And as he confronted the reasons for his unhappiness, he started to eat less. This time, when he lost weight, it stayed off.

His transformation inspired him to retrain as a psychotherapist and today he specialises in helping others to look beneath the surface of their weight, shape and body image.

Be it boredom at work or grief at the loss of a loved one, Tahon believes that until we address the underlying emotional issues of why we eat, we will not get to a weight that we are happy with.

“I’m not a dietitian or a doctor. It’s about a mindset, not recipes,” he says of his approach. “If you have way too much cholesterol, I can tell you to eat less fat, but that’s not going to help.”

Yet, without putting anyone on a diet, Tahon has successfully helped hundreds of clients to lose weight and has now written a book, Shrink: The Diet for the Mind, to help others to break out of the diet cycle.

“There are so many different reasons for why we use food to numb our emotions,” he says. “Some people are running away from intimacy. Some people want more intimacy, and food is a way of showing love.”

But dealing with them all starts in the same place. Our interview has moved into Tahon’s living room, where he meets clients (including celebrities whom he’s too discreet to name). The sofas are roomy and inviting, the space pristine and unadorned with distractions. Here, Tahon starts sessions by finding out who you are, what you do, and what you enjoy doing.

Next is a diary that asks three questions: what am I eating; how hungry am I; and how do I feel? Bored is a frequent answer. Tired, perhaps. Angry, says Tahon, is a surprisingly common one – and it’s often directed inwardly. “People I see have a negative self-image. They use names like ‘fat pig’ and say they’re going on a diet. Why? What’s really going on when you’re eating a bar of chocolate?”

In his own case, the answer was a deep sense of social unease. Slim as a child, Tahon started putting on weight in his 20s after marrying a woman from a wealthier background than his own. While he insists that she in no way made him feel bad about his size, he explains that “somehow my lifestyle changed a lot. I didn’t know where I be- Shrink: The Diet for the Mind by Philippe

Tahon (Octopus) is available for £9.99 plus p&p from books. telegraph. co.uk

Philippe will be a panelist at the

Telegraph’s ‘New Year, New You’ event later this month. Find out more at telegraph. co.uk/ NYNYevent longed any more. Being a great host became part of my identity”.

Always being up for another glass of wine and never saying no to dessert were decisions about food that propelled Tahon into an unhappy body.

Too many of us behave in a similar way, he says. Alcohol is a prime example. “It takes a lot of confidence to say you’re not going to have a drink. Friends put pressure on us to conform socially.”

For Tahon, it is essential to detach from social pressures – although he acknowledges that it’s not easy: “Food is everywhere, and adverts tell us that sharing a nice meal is part of friendship and family values.”

If it sounds like Tahon is waging a war on food then don’t be mistaken – it’s self-esteem that he’s concerned about. “When a client loses 10 kilos, it’s not just about the weight loss – it’s a re- lief from so many other things.”

Of his own weight loss, he says: “Being happier made me slimmer, but being slimmer didn’t make me happier.”

What if you don’t have a hidden trauma or anxiety? What if you simply like eating? “If you love food than that makes it easier. Because if you love it, you don’t have to overeat.”

A box of chocolates serves as an all too familiar example. “The first two or three you enjoy. Afterwards you’re just eating because they’re there, or because you’re bored or they are distracting you from an annoying conversation.”

Tahon instead advocates mindful eating. Chew your food, slow down, listen to whether you feel hungry. “It’s not about eating in silence, like a monk. It’s about finding a balance,” he says.

As someone who isn’t overweight, I am surprised by the relevance his mes-

Philippe Tahon says people cite many different reasons for eating, including boredom, tiredness or even anger