RICHARD MADELEY AGONY UNCLE

The author and broadcaster answers your questions. Write to DearRichard@telegraph.co.uk

back at a difficult time, not relatives invited from duty, who didn’t.

I know weddings are an opportunity to build bridges, and maybe I should be the one to build this one, but my family’s indifference is an inhibiting factor. I think I want you to say my decision is OK, that I’m not being unreasonable, that I’m old enough to make this choice, that guilt is a wasted emotion: but I’d appreciate any wise words you have either way.

DAVID, MERSEYSIDE

Dear David

Your decision is OK, you’re not being unreasonable, you’re old enough to make this choice, and guilt (in this case) is a wasted emotion.

There. That’s the easiest advice I’ve had to write since Graham Norton passed the baton to me four months ago. Why? Because you’ve already worked it all out for yourself. You’re there ahead of me, looking back over your shoulder. And you’re right.

So many weddings go wrong because they’re designed to please just about everyone except the bride and groom. It’s your special day, not your stroppy brother and snotty sister-in-law’s. Who in their right mind would want to feel the chill ripple of disapproval and judgementalism lapping at their backs as they make their marriage vows?

You’ve already gone through a messy divorce, David. This wedding is your chance for a fresh start. Don’t drag the painful past into it. I repeat: it’s your special day. The only obligations you should feel are to each other, and the only guests you should invite are the people who love you.

You asked for wisdom but this reply isn’t especially wise, it’s just a statement of the obvious. You also implied you wanted me to agree with your assessment of the situation. So let me borrow your best line from the forthcoming nuptials: I do.

Dear Richard

A little over a year ago, I was invited by a friend to home-made lunch with four other women, all of whom have had very successful careers as chefs or in the high-end restaurant trade. Before I knew it, it had been agreed that we would take turns each month or so to host a meal in our new “Ladies-Who-Lunch Club.”

My turn was a disaster. I am a hopeless cook and although I had been sleeplessly stressing about the event for two months, I still served up a dog’s dinner instead of a smart lunch.

How do I tell these friends that I like them but hate this group? My

New Year’s resolution was to say “no” to things that I didn’t want to do, but I do not know how to proceed with this.

MARY, VIA EMAIL I am a 20-year-old guy and recently I have developed feelings for my best friend at university – another guy (who is gay and single). We live and spend the majority of our time together and get on so well. I have never had feelings for a guy before and always considered myself straight, but I’ve only had a bit of sexual experience with girls.

My main problem is that I don’t want to spoil our friendship, which I would hate to lose more than anything by revealing feelings to him that he doesn’t reciprocate. He has never given any sign of attraction to me but then neither have I, so far.

I’m also apprehensive about what might happen if he did reciprocate, as I have never been in a physical relationship with a guy.

I hope I’m not rambling too much, but I don’t know how to proceed and I would like to move on one way or the other.

CHARLES, VIA EMAIL

Dear Charles

He who hesitates is lost. I completely understand your nervousness about declaring yourself to your friend, but that’s burgeoning love for you.

Someone has to speak first, and it looks like it’s fallen to you. You can’t put it off forever, and you should seize the moment sooner rather