Richard Madeley answers your questions

The author and broadcaster answers your questions. Write to DearRichard@telegraph.co.uk

Dear Richard I snapped at someone for making assumptions about my age – and my daughter blamed me

I am 83, walk without a stick, only use glasses for reading, keep my hair fairly free from grey and use some make-up. However, because I use hearing aids, my daughter accompanied me for a recent hospital appointment. I handed my appointment letter to the receptionist and asked to be directed to the consultant’s rooms.

Turning to my daughter, who was standing to my left and slightly behind me, the receptionist addressed her: “Go to the end of the corridor, through the swing doors and…”

I interrupted: “Excuse me, are you speaking to me?” Without drawing breath, the receptionist switched eye contact to me and continued with her directions. I thanked her and we set off down the corridor.

When we got out of hearing range, much to my amazement, my daughter said, “Mum, how could you? That was so rude!” I was astounded, as I thought I was the one who’d been subjected to rudeness. We had words about it later, but it has been put behind us now. However, when I can’t sleep the incident and our conversations return to me.

I would be glad to have your opinion of the incident and our differing reactions to it.

CHLOE, OXFORD

Dear Chloe

Your letter made me smile, because it’s a perfect example of how certain

dynamics in the parent-child relationship never change. From the moment they reach adolescence, our kids are programmed to be embarrassed by us.

Think back, Chloe. I bet you can remember plenty of examples when your daughter decided her mum or dad’s behaviour was beyond the pale (usually completely

without foundation, if my own experience is anything to go by).

When you were younger, you were probably wryly amused (if energetic in your own defence). Now, though, with age-related health problems, you’re a bit more sensitive.

You were understandably nettled when the hospital receptionist bypassed you, and perfectly entitled to speak to her in the way you did. But your daughter’s reaction would have been the same 30 years ago: that’s her default programming kicking in.

Stop dwelling on it and seeing it as some sort of unacceptable judgmentalism. Actually, it’s evidence that things between you and your daughter are running on normal. Our kids have permanent parent-sensitive embarrassment receptors. Age shall not wither them.

Dear Richard Outside work and my parents, I feel as if life has nothing to offer me

I am a single guy of 40, and I worry about being a lonely old man when my parents die.

I work hard in a very busy environment, with little time to get to know colleagues. However, I make time for voluntary work and enjoy the company of my fellow workers.

I do have an elder brother, but we have very little in common – when we see each other it can be hard to know what to say. I have no romantic life and no prospects of one.

Sorry if this seems negative, but I can’t see any way out of this slow downward spiral. Do you have any advice for me?

CLIVE, SOUTHAMPTON

Dear Clive

I certainly do. Dating websites are practically designed for people like you. They’re not perfect – blind dating never was – but there are plenty of happy couples out there who owe their relationships to dating apps.

You say you work hard in a busy environment and the implication is you don’t have the time to go on dates. But you make time for voluntary work, don’t you? I wonder if this to some extent displacement activity, because you fear to take the plunge into the dating pool. Have a think about that.

Anyway, your happiness is just as important as that voluntary work, so make a belated new year’s resolution: grant yourself a little “me” time to go out with people you like the sound of online.

Don’t worry if you don’t find

“the one” early on: you’ll be learning important social and communication skills, even on the most comprehensively failed date.

Be positive, Clive. Hope for the best. Accept the worst – should it happen – with as much good humour you can muster. You’re going on an adventure!

Good luck!