Runner up

My brain at 4:00am on (I think) a Wednesday. Percy Pigs are, undoubtedly, the greatest confectionery ever conceived by man, or woman. Even the vegetarian ones are good. The “made with natural fruit juice” stamp always convinces me I’m being somewhat healthy. I’m not sure if I’m technically allowed to call them Percy Pigs for this, I don’t fancy getting sued by M&S. Although I’ve recently tried to adopt a “screw the system” attitude, I’ve quit social media, I seem to constantly be throwing insults at Boris Johnson or any political figure who tells me now is a time to be “cautiously optimistic”, I’m practically a full-blown anarchist, M&S do your worst!

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure how many anarchists shop at M&S. My mum and I always called it the fancy shop because of its wooden floors. I actually thought it was that fake wood stuff that renovators stick to the floor in rental flats, you can tell because it’s just too bouncy to be wood.

At this conjecture I want to reassure you that I’m fully aware this is a bit of a weird attempt at a writing competition entry, I started out trying to write an emotional piece on the whole thing, or some uplifting extended metaphor. But neither came out right so this is what you’re getting, a confused, bored, simultaneously under and overwhelmed girl, telling you why Percy Pigs are the best and that she’s an anarchist who shops at M&S. I’m actually getting a bit nervous that I’ve said anarchist too much; the last thing I need is some kind of criminal presence, although I’m not sure what the punishment for anarchism is nowadays. A £200 fine?

I’ve been reading the news every morning, and then watching it again while we wait for The One Show to come on in the evening.

I enjoy my little hunt for positivity, for something that will make me feel as happy as Percy Pigs do. I’ll admit, some days it’s like searching through a dense forest, the branches reaching out to me, even scratching me occasionally. But I persevere, and eventually I find my little gem.

I’m now going to assume that you’re desperate to know what I found today and so I’ll oblige: “A musician from Scotland has made an album out of ‘happy’ sounds sent to him by friends.” He’s made it public so anyone, anywhere can contently listen to the sweet sound of dishwashers beeping at them and morning birdsong.

My mum and dad keep telling me to stay positive, and I keep telling them to stop worrying. One of the most deeply rooted trees in negativity forests are the headlines that tell parents that more and more teenagers are self-harming, how our lack of social life is creating a whole other kind of pandemic.

So I’m going to find more gems, until I have a whole treasure chest of them, and I’ll share them with anyone who has a moment to listen to a Percy Pig anarchist.

i Alice Cunningham’s writing already has a characterful voice