The au­thor, co­me­dian and pre­sen­ter ad­vises read­ers. Send your dilemmas to gra­ham@tele­

The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - - GAMES -

Dear Gra­ham

as you com­pare the woman you have be­come with those that catch his eye.

Clearly your hus­band doesn’t see any prob­lem with his be­hav­iour. I’m sure that he bats away your crit­i­cisms with phrases like “It’s not hurt­ing any­one” or “Who doesn’t like a com­pli­ment?”. I think you need to ex­plain to your hus­band that the prob­lem with his be­hav­iour is that the per­son it up­sets is you – his wife. If he cares about you why would he de­lib­er­ately con­tinue to do some­thing that dis­tresses you? Hope­fully he can un­der­stand that his “in­no­cent” flirt­ing makes you feel very vul­ner­a­ble, and as your part­ner that is the po­lar op­po­site of what his be­hav­iour should be do­ing. He is sup­posed to be your cheer­leader, so re­mind him to do his job.

Ul­ti­mately, you will be do­ing him a favour. You may feel age has al­tered your sex­ual dy­namic, but it will also change his. At some point, ev­ery man ceases to be seen as a thrust­ing Lothario or a “player”, and is re­cast, whether he likes it or not, in the role of ei­ther a harm­less avun­cu­lar fig­ure or a creepy old man. Save him from him­self!

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