LETTER OF THE WEEK

A couple of months ago, I arrived home early and overheard a distinctly flirty telephone conversation between my husband and a woman I did not recognise.

When I asked who he was talking to, he assured me it was innocent; that she was an old, close friend he had seen and spoken to infrequently over the years, and that she was a great emotional support for him but nothing more. If he’s telling the truth, then fine – I’m not his jailer. But he has refused my requests to meet this woman or even know her name. He says he doesn’t want me to “do something stupid” to her – I suppose he means yelling down the telephone.

Things haven’t been great between us and I am willing to accept my share of responsibility for that. But his lack of candour has shaken me. He says we should “keep calm and carry on” – but I need more than his word to be able to accept the situation is as he says, rather than as it still appears to me.

I feel very isolated, as he is the only other person in the know and he will not countenance seeking any sort of independent advice, so we just go around and around in hurtful circles.

I do not know where else to turn, whether I am being fair in expecting to know this woman’s name, whether he has a point in withholding it – and indeed whether I am being a mug in hoping his story is true. Help, please!

ANON, VIA EMAIL

Dear Anon

Ignorance is bliss, isn’t it? How a part of you must wish you’d never walked