The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - Saturday
I’M DOING SOME SOUL-SEARCHING WITH A LIFE COACH
Going through such a huge life change, I often wake up feeling as though I’m stuck in a tunnel of gloom, the kind of gloom a fast run or leisurely walk through Hyde Park just can’t shift. I realise I’ve lost a part of me, the part that feels confident to walk into a room, be it real or virtual, and know who I am and what I stand for. (Lack of sleep doesn’t help confidence, to be honest.) I have a regular therapist, whom I see weekly, however last week I made an appointment to see Lisa Quinn, an executive and personal coach, who is both calm and kind. Not therapy but definitely therapeutic, the aim of coaching, as I quickly discovered during our 90-minute session, is to look forward and be goal focussed.
I was also surprised to discover the narrative I’d metaphorically written about my life (erm, am I really going to die alone in a basement flat, broke, surrounded by budgies and guinea pigs?) had been holding me back for years.
Lisa coaches people to grow and reach their full potential, helping her clients to feel confident in the areas where they need it most, which, in my case, is work, life, love, parenting, haircare products, dating apps. The list goes on…
Seriously, though, by the end of the session, which involved a few tears and a lot of soul-searching, I began to realise how I view the world affects how I react to it. It sounds so obvious, but when a narrative is so deeply ingrained (I can’t do this, I’m a failure), it’s hard to make confident decisions.
I am in control of very little in my life right now, and I spend a lot of my day feeling frightened, but as Lisa encouraged me to discover, unearthing my values can provide a rocksteady touch point for what I stand for.
In rough seas, I hold on to those 10 values, which include courage, love of family, kindness and freedom, like an inflatable life raft. And we all need a life raft sometimes. Or a new handbag…