This, LADIES, is OFFICIALLY the SUMMER of the BLONDE FOX

It’s go Mabe or go home – and here’s why there’s never been a better time to be an older blonde:

WE USED TO BE NATURAL BLONDE SNOBS AND NOW WE’RE OVER IT

Natural blondes, when they start getting highlights in their 30s or 40s, kid themselves that they are merely enhancing their natural colour. These days, we couldn’t give a stuff if it looks fake because it couldn’t be anything else, and subtle is no longer cutting it. For ages there was a natural prude sitting on our shoulder, whispering: “Don’t overdo it or you’ll look like Claudia Schiffer’s mum.” Now we would take Claudia Schiffer’s mum over washed-out midlife lady any day. We’d draw the line at a Foden, or a gone-wrong Foden (tangerine), but that’s pretty much it.

BLONDER IS LOOKING SHARPER

We all know that these days you can walk into a party and 90 per cent of the women will have This Time Of Life hair: not too long, not too short, not too tidy, not too messy and always highlighted blonde.

The redheads have gone blondish to hide the grey, the brunettes have gone brondish for the same reason, and the once-blondes are plodding along with their standard biscuity cream medley, so the overall effect is… ageing. Not ageing like grey, but ageing like slightly orange foundation.

That’s what’s really going on here. We don’t want to look like every single other woman between the age of 50 and 75. That’s why we’re ramping it up.

BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN

Just kidding. No scientific proof of this (yet), but we are looking for brightness and fun across the board: given the choice between beige shoes and scarlet-andp-ink ones, no one is going beige. Given the choice between staying in watching TV and putting on lipstick and rushing out to drink rosé, we’re going with the lipstick option. Blonde is more upbeat, you could argue. Fat blonde streaks in otherwise not-that-blonde hair suggests sun, sea, holidays – all the things we’ve been missing.

ANOTHER REASON TO JUST SAY NO TO GREY: THE LEVEL OF MAINTENANCE NEEDED

You can get away with unkempt blonde hair – slightly dried out, sea-salt blitzed hair is actually a desirable “look”, which can be achieved with special John Frieda products. Sun-frazzled grey hair does not have the same surfer-girl cachet. Grey hair must be tended to like a sensitive plant in case it turns on you. You’re working around the clock just to stand still.

BRUNETTE IS OUT

Also, just kidding. Actually we can say with confidence that, thanks to Meghan and Kate, brunette had inched ahead in the hair colour charts and in comparison blonde was looking a bit obvious. If a hair colour can look pre #MeToo, then bright blonde – the colour of Fox News – was that hair colour. But there’s been a lot of water under the bridge since then, hasn’t there? Blonde is back – especially if you are one.