THE BEST & WORST OF... Ben Miller

55, actor and comedian

It was as one half of the duo Armstrong and Miller that Ben Miller became one of Britain’s best-known comic actors. Since then, the Footlights graduate has appeared in a wide range of films and TV shows, including the Johnny English franchise, Paddington 2 and, most recently, the ITV detective series Professor T, in which Miller plays the eponymous detective.

Miller, 55, has three children and is married to production executive Jessica Parker. They live in Gloucestershire. Here he shares the good, the bad and the ugly of his life as a comedian, a father, and a sworn enemy of cuddly comments on oat milk bottles.

MY HAPPIEST RECENT MOMENT

I was born in 1966, so I precisely span the period of time in which England have failed to win anything. It was a shame about the Euro 2020 final, but the semi-final was unreal. I was watching it with friends in north London, and I can’t tell you how extraordinary it felt when, following Denmark’s goal, England went straight up the other end and scored the equaliser. It was unbelievable. The renaissance in English football is an incredible thing to witness.

MY FAVOURITE PLACE IN THE WORLD

I’m absolutely obsessed with Marrakesh in Morocco. Funnily enough, we were on holiday there when the first lockdown happened, and we were stuck there for four months. I love the souks; I love the Atlas Mountains and the surprising amount of greenery outside the city; I love the incredible history, the Roman ruins and the extraordinary Saudi tombs.

THE BEST PART OF BEING A PARENT

I love being a dad and I love giving it my best shot. You can’t help but feel that your best isn’t good enough, but then it’s just so rewarding because kids are so amazing, constantly surprising you with how different they are from each other and from their parents.

Once you become a parent to your own children, you become a parent to all children and you’ve got an eye out for other kids too. My teenage son just had a birthday, and it’s always a great moment when you’ve got to the end of the party and you know they’ve had a good time.

THE COMEDIAN WHOSE OPINION I VALUE THE MOST

I’ve done two Johnny English films with Rowan Atkinson, and they were phenomenal experiences. He’s a lovely man with an other-worldly talent. He’s never prescriptive, and has this wonderfully detached, almost spiritual way about him, but at the same time he’s very present. I can’t think of anyone whose opinion I would value more in a question about physical comedy, or, in fact any kind of comedy, whether it’s verbal, physical or whatever.

THE BEST THING ABOUT MY APPEARANCE

I don’t feel like my appearance limits the parts I can play, and I’m grateful for that. If I need to look handsome, I can look handsome, and if I need to be ugly then I can be ugly. And I’m grateful that there’s something about me physically that people find funny.

THE BEST CULTURE I’VE CONSUMED RECENTLY

I’m watching that Ken Burns documentary about Hemingway and it’s absolutely fantastic. To my shame, I hadn’t watched Line of Duty when it came out, but I’ve since caught up and it’s brilliant. So is Jason Bateman’s podcast, SmartLess.

THE BEST PARTY I’VE EVER BEEN TO

When I was at university, and I was first going to come to London, a friend of mine took me to a party in Glebe Place in Chelsea. The party was on the roof of a house, and there was the most incredible art on the walls, and the place was full of celebrities, really famous celebrities from the 1960s, such as Mick Jagger. I thought: “Oh my god! This is my new showbiz life, hanging out at these glamorous parties in Chelsea.” I’ve never been to anything like it again, and it’s tragic because I know those parties are still out there somewhere. For one second, it was like Sliding Doors, and I walked into a possible future life of mine. Sadly, once I left the room, the door closed behind me, never to open again.

THE WORST THING ABOUT MY APPEARANCE

I’ve got a crossbite, which means I can’t close my teeth properly. I don’t like being short, and losing your hair is no fun. I don’t think I ever look in the mirror and think “PHWOAR!”.

THE WORST PART OF BEING A PARENT

When your child is experiencing trouble at school, you can feel very powerless. Those are my worst moments, when I feel like something is out of my control.

MY WORST HABIT

If I can reach for a negative thought, I’ll do it. Often my first reaction to something will be to think, “It’s a f------ disaster and it’s going to get worse!”

THE ABSOLUTE WORST…

Matey capitalism. It wasn’t the case when I was growing up, but today we’re in this weird sort of cuddly capitalist thing where everything you read, even stuff by the Government, has a jokey, over-familiar men’s magazine tone to it. Companies pretend they’re our friend, but I’m perfectly happy to pay my money without entering a co-dependent relationship with them or being told by Innocent to “give us a call on the banana phone.” Don’t get me started on Oatly – I love oat milk, but the more right-on the project, the more stomach-churning the cuddly capitalism on the packaging. It doesn’t need all that chummy stuff on the carton. Just put it in a clear glass milk bottle!

Interview by Tom Ough

Ben Miller plays Professor T in the ITV series of the same name. Episode 2 airs on ITV on Sunday at 9pm.

Souk and ye shall find: the markets ofMarrakesh, where Ben and his family were marooned for four months in 2020