Season’s greetings – don’t judge me on my lack of cards

‘There’s serious value in cards from the famous, and assured victory with one from the Royals’

It’s a game we all like to play. Visiting friends over the holidays and, while they’re looking the other way, having a sneaky peak at their Christmas cards. It’s a heated game of Top Trumps.

Yes, there are cards from friends, family and business associates. But what piques our interest most are the cards from the famous. They get points for those from politicians – the more senior or most ghastly the better. (Think of the big score if you had cards from Rishi Sunak AND Jeremy Corbyn.) There’s serious value in cards from the famous and, of course, assured victory with one from the King and Queen.

But this year, admittedly, I’m not doing well. So if you find yourself having a gander about my house I’d plead: please don’t judge me on them. Because, as I write, the best I can offer is a London nightclub I never visit, a soon-to-be-ex-member of Parliament and the producers of Bullseye.

I blame the economy, the Royal

Mail and card businesses. I could plead lack of time, but cost is a major factor.

The printing and envelopes are £1.65 a card and a first-class stamp is £1.25. And forget the idea of sending them second class at 75p because we all know the Royal Mail shares the same brand values as GWR (Great Western Railway): you’ve no idea of when the destination will come and it’s not surprising if it’s after Christmas.

So assuming we would send out 100 cards, which we would happily sign and seal with a glass of wine while watching the Strictly final, that’s almost £300. Which is quite pricey for that simple, traditional expression of warmth and friendship, of reminding people that while you haven’t seen them in a while you haven’t forgotten them.

Still, at least we’re spared those massive family round-ups that people used to dispatch. But I do miss one card, from a large family in the States. Each year the family would gather for a photo and it’s both sweet and a little intriguing to see who’s growing up fast and who’s missing: banished from the family or fallen from their perch.