Way of the World Michael Deacon

If there’s one thing Jenny Leong can’t stand, it’s racism. The Australian Greens MP proudly describes herself as “a committed anti-racism advocate”. On her Twitter/X page, she says: “If you’re sick of us talking about racism, imagine how sick we are of being subjected to it.” And in her profile, she offers a helpful word of advice to other users. “Remember, don’t be a racist.”

Message received. I have just one question. How exactly did this noble anti-racist end up declaring at an event held by the Palestine Justice Movement that the “tentacles” of “the Jewish lobby” reach “into the areas that try and influence power”?

I don’t know about you, but it strikes me as a surprising thing for someone who’s against racism to say. After all, the idea that a sinister “Jewish lobby” seeks to “influence power” using its octopus-like “tentacles” appeared in the propaganda of the Nazis, a group not known for its staunch anti-racism.

After video footage of her comments spread online a few days ago, eight weeks after the event, she apologised for having “framed an argument in an inappropriate way that has caused offence [and] had anti-Semitic implications”. In future, she promised, she would “do better”.

I’m sure she will. It is curious, though, how many Left-wing “anti-racists” appear to have a slight blind spot when it comes to one particular minority.

Still, it’s rare for them to use the term “Jewish lobby”. They usually remember to use that handy euphemism “Zionist” instead. No doubt they’ll take extra care from now on.

Perhaps my memory is as bad as Joe Biden’s. But I could swear there was once a time when Tory politicians deplored nanny statism. A time when they believed businesses and citizens should be liberated from the state’s high-minded meddling.

Evidently, though, that time is past. Just look at the bizarre tirade by Lord Bethell, the Tory former health minister, who has lambasted the Domino’s takeaway pizza chain for promoting an unhealthy-sounding new dessert: a cookie that contains an entire Cadbury’s Creme Egg.

“This is disgusting,” raged

His Lordship. “These are serious corporate food companies. What are they thinking? The executive team, the board and the shareholders should be ashamed of themselves.”

As it happens, I do agree with him on one point. Any dessert containing a Creme Egg is bound to be disgusting. This is largely due to the sickeningly sweet gunk inside: a glutinous, grey-white window sealant of syrup and fat. It makes my guts lurch worse than a ride on the waltzers.

Revolting as I may find Creme Eggs, however, I wouldn’t dream of banning a business from selling them, or the public from eating them. People must be free to make their own dietary choices, no matter how foul or fattening, without some priggish peer sticking his sanctimonious oar in.

The strangest aspect of Lord Bethell’s rant, however, is that he seems to think the Creme Egg cookie will prove costly for Domino’s executives. The new dessert, he predicts, will “weigh heavily on their future career prospects”.

Why this should be, I’ve no idea.

It’s hard to imagine it coming up at a job interview.

“According to your CV, you were an executive at Domino’s UK when it introduced a cookie with a Creme Egg inside. Is this correct?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“In that case, I must ask you to leave my office at once. When I heard that a popular takeaway chain had started selling high-calorie food, I was shocked to my very core. I’d always assumed that Domino’s was a health farm. There’s simply no way we can offer you a role here at McDonald’s.”

Amother in West Sussex has complained after a children’s soft-play centre hosted a special event for adults who enjoy dressing as babies. According to the local newspaper, The Argus, “The over-25s event offered a ‘nappy change room’, baby food and ‘a lovely story time’ with milk and biscuits.”

It would be easy to mock these people. But I think we should refrain – for a simple but important reason.

Each new generation of progressives needs its own oppressed minority to champion, in order to demonstrate how much kinder and more virtuous they are than the rest of us. Now that all the obvious groups have been taken, however, I have for some time been wondering which marginalised community will be the next to benefit from the Left’s patronage. I see no particular reason why it shouldn’t be the turn of adult babies.

None of us knows what the future may hold. But in 10 or 20 years, it’s perfectly possible that righteous young Left-wing activists will be marching in support of adults’ rights to wear romper suits, suck dummies and play with the nice teddies and dollies at their local crèche.

If you don’t believe me, it’s worth noting how the soft-play centre responded when The Argus inquired about the adults-only event. A spokesman said: “Who are we to judge and discriminate?”

By displaying such prejudice against these poor, marginalised, middle-aged infants, the mothers of West Sussex may well find themselves on the wrong side of history.