Relentess Australia offer no respite under the savage Sydney sun
Tourists melt as hosts near 4-0 series victory Moeen needed advice from former spinners
Joe Root’s players have failed to regain the body of English cricket that was slain at the Oval in September 1882. It is a concept taken from medieval chivalry – redeeming the honour of one’s people by regaining the corpse of the fallen leader – but there it is. Test matches between England and Australia are all about the Ashes.
As in medieval chivalry, innocent bystanders – if the Barmy Army can be called innocent – were spared, but the losers themselves were treated to the most painful punishment. England were roasted in a searing sun for two days, the second of them the hottest in Sydney since 1939, and sentenced to the cricket equivalent of being hung, drawn and quartered.
Mark Stoneman was first of England’s batsmen on the scaffold. Any grounds for mercy? Yes, several: he had dreamed of playing a Test at the SCG since 2006-07 when he attended one here; seven seasons of grade cricket in Sydney; a wife from the city; fielding at short-leg for Mason Crane when a short ball was liable to be smashed into him at any moment; and an excellent runout from cover with a direct hit to dismiss Shaun Marsh. But no, there was no mercy from Australia, just the humiliation of being dismissed for nought.
Alastair Cook, in his last innings in Australia, was allowed to complete 12,000 Test runs, albeit off an inside edge. In recognition of his former triumphs – in 2010-11 and carrying his bat in Melbourne – he was given a reprieve when he edged Josh Hazlewood between keeper and first slip. Then off with his head: Nathan Lyon ripped his first ball past Cook, who thereupon did not know how much spin to allow for, and in the same over another vicious off-break clipped the outside of Cook’s stumps. He walked off, raised his bat one last time in acknowledgement, and entered the old pavilion. Yet another ending far from fairy tales.
James Vince was next on the block. Again he risked a back-foot forcing shot, and again he edged a catch. He has averaged 26 in this series, Stoneman 25.
Dawid Malan, the best of the batting newcomers, was troubled by Lyon as all of England’s left-handers have been, and was pinned after a review.
Joe Root and Jonny Bairstow were given a stay of execution overnight. Root battled to keep his flag flying until the final day of this series, in spite of an injured finger, trying to salvage something from the battlefield. But the Australians were relentless: pace bowlers rotating from one end, in short spells owing to the excessive heat, while Lyon combined the revolutions of a wrist-spinner like Crane with the accuracy that a finger-spinner such as Moeen Ali is supposed to have.
The public humiliation of England’s bowlers had consisted of punishing them with averages that
The very public humiliation of England’s bowlers continued
will be forever embarrassing in the eyes of posterity.
Four of them will finish this series with averages of 100 or more, in the safe assumption that Australia do not bat a second time: Crane, with an average of 193, Jake Ball and Moeen with 115, and Tom Curran with 100 precisely.
Crane was spirited enough to take the third new ball with James Anderson, although it was a shame that he finally resorted to bowling round the wicket into the rough when there was a tail-ender or two to tempt. Crane was always willing to bowl; the question, after the most expensive debut in their history, is when England can afford him to. Three maidens in 48 overs indicates that he cannot yet string together enough dot-balls to put pressure on the batsman.
Moeen, after getting enough spin on the ball to make it drift and dismiss Steve Smith, was reduced to going through the motions. He delivered the ball, dutifully, but did not bowl it. He did not attack the crease, let alone the batsman.
After Ottis Gibson had departed to come South Africa’s head coach, the England and Wales Cricket Board were fairly prompt in appointing Chris Silverwood as the new bowling coach – and their interim arrangements of having two consultants until the end of the second Test in Adelaide (Shane Bond for pace, Saqlain Mushtaq for spin) were sound. Exactly why England never have two full-time bowling coaches, one for pace and the other for spin, is, for the time being, another matter.
Where England’s management have erred is in not using the offspinning expertise to hand in Australia to help Moeen. It is not as if they do not know where Graeme Swann and John Emburey are. Swann presented Crane with his England cap in Sydney while Emburey presented Craig Overton with his in Adelaide.
They – Swann, the last England off-spinner to have a field day in Australia, back in 2010-11, and Emburey, who enjoyed two successful series Down Under – have watched every day as commentators, yet both said yesterday they had not been asked to talk to Moeen, let alone have a coaching session with him.
Curran hardly justified his selection as a bowler with two wickets in two Tests – one in Melbourne and another in Sydney when he brought a ball back sharply to bowl Mitchell Marsh – but, like Crane, he is game for a contest, which has to be the starting point. The Marshes became Australia’s third pair of brothers to score a century in the same Test, after Ian and Greg Chappell and Mark and Steve Waugh.
Shaun’s was the better hundred in that it was almost watertight. Western Australian batsmen have always handled pace but, since Australia’s last tour of India at any rate, Marsh has excelled against spin too.
Mitchell was quicker and more rugged, as an all-rounder is licensed to be. His celebration of his second Test hundred was premature as he tried to hug his brother while running in mid-pitch. In the end his emotions were at the opposite extreme to England’s.