‘I had to find out why nearly three-quarters
Quinn’s wife, Gillian, is studying players’ relationships and working with a support network for wives and partners
It is a set of statistics that you almost have to read twice to fully digest: one third of footballers get divorced within 12 months of retiring. Wider research is suggesting that this figure rises beyond 70 per cent within three years. That would make eight out of a starting XI.
Gillian and Niall Quinn will celebrate 30 years of marriage next year but openly admit that they were almost added to those grim statistics after he left Sunderland in 2002.
And, as Gillian then also noticed that marriages were toppling like dominoes among other recently retired players, a seed was planted in her head. She took an Open University degree in psychology and, under the supervision of Dublin City University, is now researching the first PHD across any sport into the correlation between retirement and marital breakdowns.
“Niall would come home and be saying, ‘I met such-and-such player’. I’d go, ‘how is his wife?’ and he’d say, ‘They’ve broken up’. It was a really common theme. I thought, ‘What’s going on here?’ I thought back to the issues Niall and I had.
“We both feel so lucky that somehow we managed to dodge that bullet but so many of our friends didn’t. I wanted to find out the reasons and try to help others.”
For Maggie Devine-inman and Helen Drury, the founders of the
Lifestyled Club for the wives and partners of professional players, this sort of work represents “everything we are”. Their community now has 600 members, including Gillian, and the importance of planning for life after football is constantly emphasised.
“We feel we can help with the horrible statistics,” said Helen. “The majority of footballers will have to work when they finish playing. The ones who can afford not to work will still need a purpose. It’s crucial to think about life after football while you are playing and while you are in a good mindset. There are things that can affect families catastrophically and we don’t believe that there are enough messages out there.”
To this end, they have agreed to a formal partnership with the Professional Footballers’ Association. “Helen and Maggie have created a unique support network,” said chief executive Maheta Molango.
“Many of the challenges in professional football, such as short-term contracts, career-ending injuries, retirement and mental health pressures, don’t just affect those on the pitch. These factors also impact families and loved ones.”
Gillian has already begun interviewing couples and, although she does not want to prejudge her findings ahead of completing a 120,000 word dissertation, common trends are emerging that chime with her own experience. She was working as a model in Ireland when she met Quinn shortly after the 1990 World Cup. Having initially joined an agency in Manchester, maintaining her career became increasingly difficult once they moved to Sunderland ahead of what was an abrupt end to his playing days.
“None of us had any idea that it would present major issues for us,” she says. “I didn’t know he was struggling – that he was missing his team-mates, that camaraderie, the training, the routine. The players are basically institutionalised. “It’s a really common theme that players and wives didn’t talk about expectations. I think it stems from the stoicism among players of not saying if they are having any issues.” Quinn reached the point whereby he struggled even to get out of bed but he was ultimately able to rediscover his purpose when he returned to Sunderland as chairman in 2006. “The number of players who can retire at 35 or 36 and never have to work again are minimal,” says Gillian. “They have to get a job – it’s important from a financial and psychological perspective. And join a gym – you have been exercising all your life and your brain needs those neurochemicals.”
Former players, however, can become embarrassed in social situations if they have not quickly moved on to something else impressive. Never mind that they have often just given the rest of the working world a 20-year head start. Gillian hopes there can be a greater level of allround kindness, awareness and acceptance. “You are never going to find something that replaces the buzz of playing,” she says. “People need to look back and say, ‘wasn’t that amazing’. But you have to start preparing as early as possible.”
There is research that actually demonstrates a correlation between enhanced confidence and performance among those players who have already actively started planning for a life after football.
“The problem tends to creep in a year before they retire – the player starts to get anxious and nervous, he knows what is happening and is trying to cling on – it’s like a slow death,” she says.
“One of the biggest issues is identity. ‘What am I if I’m not a footballer?’ They can start to feel useless and invisible.”
Simply raising awareness, says Gillian, is also critical. “When you tell the players about the statistics, they are, ‘What?’ They haven’t got a clue and you think, ‘Why aren’t they hearing this?’ There can be a huge amount of regret and it is tragic. But look around your dressing room. Which of you will be divorced within three years? What are you going to do to not be one of those eight? Divorce is not preventable in every case but you hope to give them a better chance and a nudge in the right direction.”