LIAM GALLAGHER’S GUIDE TO CELEBRITIES

On Wayne Rooney: ‘He looks like a f—ing balloon with a f—ing Weetabix crushed on top. He’s better off as a skinhead, isn’t he?’ On Mumford & Sons: ‘I’m sure they’re all nice lads but that’s not for me. They look like f—ing Amish people. I need music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit f—ing dangerous.’ ‘Noel Gallagher, Russell Brand, f—ing hell… what a pair of old housewives.’ ‘You see pictures of Bono running around LA with his little white legs and a bottle of Volvic and he looks like a fanny.’ ‘I’ve mellowed, but not in the sense of liking Radiohead or Coldplay.’ ‘There`s Elvis and me. I couldn’t say which of the two is the best.’