The Midults’ guide to… the girls we wanted to be

WHAT IS IT about sunny spring days that makes us… wonder? The lengthening evenings echoing with what we might have been. Who we might have been. All those girls we wanted to be. Is there still time?

THE ADORABLE MESS

Dungarees, hair up in a messy bun held together with a paintbrush, possibly a darling little dab on your nose. But not stinky, or broke. Or hairy. Or drunk.

THE DOMESTIC GODDESS

Of course you can feed the 10 people who have just spontaneously dropped in with the fennel and kale (nice and crisp rather than ‘maybe just leave it to stick to the fridge drawer?’), a fistful of risotto rice and a dash of lemon… Oh, and you think you might even have some pork marinating. Laughing and joking while you whip up a soufflé without breaking a sweat or a plate. And a side of the bread you just baked (but don’t eat). And the enormous salad you grew with your bare hands.

THE TOTALLY TOGETHER ONE

There you are – so stoic, so sexy Scottish Widow, so capable. Not crying all the way through Queer Eye, binge eating M&S crisps (boy, those packets are big), covered in crumbs with grey roots and pyjama bottoms on. No, nothing like that. You have booked a silent retreat in Goa (to coincide with your kitchen extension that you can totally afford) as well as your Ocado shops for the rest of the year. And you are fine: you have Teflon powers – none of the pain seems to stick.

THE PRINCESS

Despite our feminism, there’s something about the royal wedding that is triggering our ‘plucked from obscurity’ princess fantasies like a pinball machine, and we are internally pinging: ‘I like people. I use the word “empower’’. I could embrace a life of LK Bennett heels and Erdem dresses.’ (We do not really like people.)

THE ONE WHO UPPED AND MOVED TO CALIFORNIA

You go hiking (aka walking) with your wolf-dog at sunrise. You exist on coldpressed juice and vinyasa yoga, and are connected spiritually to the universe as well as the bros at Silicon Valley (on account of the indispensable app you helped invent and sold for $100,000,000). Namaste.

THE FRENCH-ISH FOX...

Who can just throw on your hot boyfriend’s shirt… And your hot boyfriend’s trousers. And never have to brush your hair because it’s all short and perfectly curly. You just smudge your eyeliner with your finger, bite your lip, et voilà.

THE GIRL WHO MARRIED HER CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART

We hear these stories about girls who marry their first love and live happily ever after without all that sticky, messy kiss-tory that most of us mentally wade through at 3am. So pure. So uncynical. (Can they really be happy ???? )

THE HUMAN-RIGHTS LAWYER WHO MARRIED A MOVIE STAR

It could have, should have, would have been us. Had we taken a tiny different turn way back when.

THE ATHLETE

We accidentally watched a documentary about surfer girls or climbing girls or hurdling girls and they looked so free and tanned and muscled but not in a ‘made in a London gym’ kind of way. And we did go to a climbing gym and, well… Maybe it’s time for a new dream. themidult.com

We hear stories about girls who marry their first love, without all that sticky, messy kiss-tory…