Table talk

What a small-plates restaurant in Liverpool lacks in pretension, it makes up for in generosity

Michael Deacon at Heritage in Liverpool

HERE’S THE STRANGEST thing about this whole business. Wetherspoon pubs have already got calorie counts on their menu. But they weren’t compelled to put them there by the Government. They did it of their own free will.

Can you explain that to me? Since when did Wetherspoons become a temple of healthy living? Since when did they care how much we eat? They don’t carry on like that with their booze. When you go up to the bar, they don’t say, ‘A pint of Foster’s, sir? Are you sure? That’s 204 calories, sir. Almost 10 per cent of an adult male’s daily allowance! In a single pint! And not only that, sir. Did you know that, as well as causing weight gain, the consumption of more than 14 units of alcohol a week can lead to heart disease, liver disease, pancreatitis, brain damage, damage to the nervous system, and cancers of the mouth and throat? Not forgetting the risk of seizures, gout and erectile dysfunction. Yes! Erectile dysfunction! Just so you’re aware, sir. Just so you can make an informed choice.

‘What was that, sir? Certainly, sir. Glass of carrot juice it is.’

Of course they don’t say that. Yet their food menu is riddled, fouled, polluted with these sanctimonious calorie counts. And now the Government is planning to force all restaurants to follow Wetherspoons’ lead. Ridiculous. First, because it sucks all the pleasure