Autumn 2019

Eyeing the Christmas health cookbook market, Edmonds publishes Noel’s 30-Minute Bake Blast!.

At first glance, it looks like just a series of rather rich cake recipes, but all becomes clear when he announces the release of an accompanying electromagnetic headband, priced keenly at £120, which if worn while cooking brings out the cakes’ mysterious slimming powers. After a number of customers post pictures of their bulging waistlines, Edmonds blames their ‘negative energy’ for any sub-optimal results. — Mike Higgins