Life and times

The Telegraph columnist on the power of shutting up, and being serenaded by Jeff Goldblum

Bryony Gordon on the joy of silence and being serenaded by Jeff Goldblum

I AM IN THE PROCESS of writing my fourth book. I usually hate writing, which is unfortunate, given my job. My dislike stems more from the act of writing, rather than the writing itself, due to its solitary nature. Put simply, I do not feel very comfortable in my own company and I will do anything to avoid it.

I don’t have anything as posh as a study, so I tend to work at my kitchen table, in my pants, with only my daughter’s guinea pigs for company. They are not great conversationalists. With previous books, this has sent me slowly mad. But this one feels different, because, the week before I started writing it, I went on a retreat where they took our phones and laptops away for six days and made us spend three hours of each day in silence, alone. For the first 24 hours I was furious, pacing up and down, counting down the moments until I could speak again. But slowly I started to relax into the silence. I found comfort in it. Deprived of the distraction of social media, I even started to enjoy it. By the time I was due to leave, I did not want my phone back and now it spends most of the day locked in a drawer. The upside is the book seems to be taking half the time, so I am actually spending less time in my own company. Who knew that being alone could be so great?

THE OTHER PLUS SIDE is that when I am let out of the house, everything feels exciting. Recently, I went into central London for a meeting in a posh hotel with my friend Jada Sezer, the plus-size model who ran last year’s London Marathon with me, both of us in our underwear.

As we walked through the lobby, I noticed the prerequisite bloke playing piano, which all five-star hotels seem to have. Then I noticed that the prerequisite bloke playing piano was Jeff Goldblum. It was confusing. Nobody was paying the slightest bit of attention to him. Was I so stir-crazy from writing that I had hallucinated the star of The Fly and Jurassic Park? I looked at Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum looked back at me and smiled a knowing smile. I mouthed at him, ‘Are you actually Jeff Goldblum?’ He raised his eyebrows and nodded back. I nudged Jada, and pointed in his direction. With a look of delight, she pulled me over to the piano stool and we sat down more or less on Jeff Goldblum’s lap, for a selfie. He carried on playing throughout, the true professional. I have since learnt that Jeff Goldblum likes to practise in hotel lobbies before gigs, so keep your eyes peeled the next time you wander into one.

JADA IS AN AMBASSADOR for Young Minds, which is one of this year’s Telegraph Christmas charities. Along with her, some politicians, and another ambassador – TV journalist Sean Fletcher – I have been working on a campaign to try and change the way child mental health is dealt with in this country.

We know that most mental illnesses will present themselves by adolescence, so early treatment is key. If not, it can snowball into much bigger problems, such as alcoholism and addiction, not to mention marginalisation, crime, and higher rates of unemployment.

As an adult who first suffered as a child, and who has undoubtedly gone on to suffer from more illnesses as a result of that initial one not being treated, I am passionate about the work that Young Minds does. Have a think about supporting this charity. You have no idea how much good even a small amount of money will do for the future of this country.

For more information on the Telegraph Christmas Charity Appeal, visit telegraph.co.uk/charity