Hollywood-quality at-home tans

Hollywood colour at home, you say? Coming right up

‘ARE WE GOING to go for the Kim Butt Lift today?’ Seems rude to say no. Then again, it seems pretty rude to be standing in my living room – naked but for a paper thong the width of dental floss – before a complete stranger.

Not that I haven’t seen Jimmy Coco’s chisel-jawed face before. Out here in LA, where he’s known as the glow guru to the stars – hosing down the likes of Kim and Khloé Kardashian, Kylie and Kendall Jenner and Heidi Klum – the man’s a celebrity magazine and beauty blog fixture, famous for his ability to ‘diagnose’ a skin tone in seconds. Using little vials of purple and green pigment, Coco customises a solu- tion so perfect for your skin it could have been delivered by Mr Sunshine himself. So when the Monet of the spray tan suggests a butt lift, you go for the butt lift.

It’s as I’m positioning myself for the clever upper-thigh contouring that can ‘lift’ your glutes by three inches (I’ve specified I don’t want my bottom midway up my back, which might make dressing difficult) that I hear my husband’s voice in the hall: ‘Honey, I’m home!’ We both freeze. It’s too late to do anything but hold a hand to my mouth, Barbara Windsor in Carry On Camping-style. ‘I can explain…’ I stutter. But of course, I said that last time.

Flash-forward eight hours, and I don’t much care if Jimmy Coco is cited in the divorce papers. This is the best spray tan I’ve ever had – neither orange nor clay pink, with zero telltale signs on either inner wrists or ankles. And it lasts a good 10 days, without leaving you looking like you suffer from a rare skin disease from day six onwards.

I wouldn’t be rubbing your lily-white noses in this if Coco weren’t about to unleash his products on Britain (available to pre-order from today). You’ll have to wait a bit for his tanning lotion, but the real game-changer is his double-sided miracle mitt, which features a classic foam applicator on one side, a duo-exfoliator on the other, and is ergonomically designed to apply more pressure to spots like elbows and knees.