Never mind trade, borders and backstops – what’s really important is Brexit’s fashion impact
Brexit’s fashion faux pas
1. ‘What do I do after a long week running rings around Monsieur Eurocrat? On with the old SAS knapsack, undo that top button, then up the nearest mountain. The only problem is getting back home. Because DAVID DAVIS NEVER CLIMBS DOWN.’
2. Nothing says ‘bad boy of Brexit’ like dressing as a dodgy auctioneer from an episode of Lovejoy, eh Nigel?
3. Andrea Leadsom in a navy-blue cricket jumper and tousled about-to-resignfrom-the-cabinet hairdo, accessorised with a combine harvester. It all says ‘I’ve taken back control – have you?’ But, you know, in a cuddly way.
The specs factor
4. Sabine Weyand, deputy Brexit negotiator for the EU, backstop bulldog. Would you attempt to slip a Malthouse Compromise past those horn-rims?
5. Guy Verhofstadt, European Parliament’s chief Brexit coordinator, attempts to screw with our tiny British minds by channelling Deirdre Barlow.
6. Up against these opponents of true vision, Oliver Robbins, the UK’S chief Brexit negotiator, stood little chance. Shouldn’t have gone to Specsavers, Olly.
7. ‘Don’t like this coat? Don’t worry, I’m wearing another, different coat beneath this one that you’ll LOVE. But actually they’re still the same coat…’ Everything you ever needed to know about Theresa May’s Brexit strategy. In a coat.
8. The bigger the ruck, the bigger the rocks on Theresa’s necklace – for the second ‘meaningful vote’, out came the giant magic beans. She lost the ruck.
9. Hat, check. Bag, check. Wonder Woman power bracelet, check. Who did Theresa expect to bump into at the Commonwealth Day services? For the wise and the sane, the runes of Brexit fashion are not to be pored over at length. But for the rest of us – and, frankly, in the absence of much else that looks the teensiest bit fun in the to and fro between the EU 27 and the UK 1 – it is a lunacy worth indulging. (By the way, in the course of research for this page we did actually get to see a picture of Attorney General Geoffrey Cox’s codpiece. Which is precisely why we’re not publishing that picture.) — Mike Higgins