The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - The Telegraph Magazine
Flashback
Kim Leadbeater, 44, sister of the murdered MP Jo Cox, on the day she watched politicians on both sides of the House come together in a moving tribute 20 June 2016
Kim Leadbeater remembers her MP sister, Jo Cox
I can barely remember a thing about being in the House of Commons that morning in 2016, only four days after my sister’s murder. Parliament had been recalled and our family was invited to watch the tributes from the public gallery. The only spare seat in the house was Jo’s. It was empty except for two roses: a white rose symbolising our home county of Yorkshire and a red one for Labour.
It was all such a blur. I remember blowing kisses to some of the MPS who were paying tribute, and waving to some of Jo’s friends that I recognised on the packed benches. Rachel Reeves [the Labour MP for Leeds West] gave a beautiful and heartbreaking speech, saying, ‘Batley and Spen can elect a new MP, but no one can replace a mother.’
Watching from the gallery were my parents, Jo’s husband Brendan and their children, who were then aged three and five, Brendan’s parents, and my partner. The children were just brilliant that day and they are doing so well now. Jo’s little girl looks exactly like her.
The thing that stands out above all in my mind was watching all these different politicians come together. It was a real leveller and that is very similar to what we have been through now with coronavirus.
In times of crisis people are generally pretty good at pulling together, the problem is sustaining it. Sadly, a few weeks after Jo’s murder things fairly quickly deteriorated into the usual political furore.
Jo was 41 when she was killed and it was the compassion of people that got us through as a family. The real challenge and the bit I find frustrating is why we don’t live like that in normal circumstances?
Forty-eight hours after the death [far-right extremist Thomas Mair was later found guilty of her murder], we visited the flowers that had been laid in Birstall town centre, where the attack took place. We had been inundated with tributes from all over the world and wanted to say thank you. My mum and dad were not in a position to do it, so I felt I had to step up and speak to the cameras.
Jo and I were best mates growing up [in the West Yorkshire town of Heckmondwike]. Jo was two years older than me but we did everything together:
Brownies, dancing, riding our BMX bikes or pretending we were in the A-team. Jo was actually very shy when we were children and I was the more confident, bossy one.
We were so close that when Jo went to Cambridge University we both had a very tough time. Jo suffered a real culture shock compared to Heckmondwike Grammar School, where we had both been students.
During our 20s and 30s we drifted apart as we got on with our lives. I worked as a lecturer, as well as developing a personal training and fitness business, while Jo embarked on a career in the charity sector before moving into politics.
One of the reasons she wanted to be our local MP was to reconnect with family and friends. When Jo had children it was so lovely and really brought us closer again. She always said my job as an auntie was to spoil them, so we have them come up once a month for a special Yorkshire weekend. We have sleepovers and take them to visit all the people around here who knew their mummy.
I’m an ambassador for the Jo Cox Foundation, which we established to continue some of the work Jo started and champion the issues she cared about. We set up the Great Get Together as an annual event in her memory and it now has millions of people holding street parties across the country.
In truth, I haven’t actually processed the fact Jo was killed yet. I’ve got a great support network but I haven’t had any counselling. I’m very conscious I’ve not dealt with what happened and I’m actually quite scared of the time, if and when, I do. I’m quite self-aware and I know one of the ways I’m coping with this is being as busy as I possibly can be and doing as much amazing stuff as I can in Jo’s name.
— As told to Joe Shute
The Great Get Together is this weekend; greatgettogether.org. This year, people are being encouraged to connect virtually or through acts of community kindness rather than mass gatherings and events