The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - The Telegraph Magazine
‘I am proud of my failings’
Sarah, Duchess of York talks to
‘I FEEL MORE ROBUST, AUTHENTIC AND CONFIDENT IN MYSELF THAN EVER’
The woman the world has come to know, and love, as ‘Fergie’ has turned a corner. Now 61, she has made peace with her past mistakes and is enjoying life as Sarah, the contented divorcée, doting grandmother, and now first-time novelist. Associate editor Camilla Tominey went to meet her
‘I spent time and energ y trying to please everybody, but now I’ve learnt that’s impossible’
Duchess of York is reclining on a chaise longue in a 19th-century drawing room modelled on the Palace of Versailles. Resplendent in a bottle-green Beulah ball gown that complements her flowing red hair, she flails out her arms and declares self-mockingly: ‘It’s all about me!’
Part-poldark, part-french Lieutenant’s Woman, today’s shoot at a stately home in Oxfordshire marks the publication of her first novel – and the 61-year-old royal is clearly revelling in it. Swapping her trainers for elaborate, gilt-edged high-heeled slippers for the next set of shots, she gleefully responds to a string of orders from the photographer: ‘Chin up!’ ‘Smile!’ ‘Giggle!’ and even, ‘Act like a cherub!’
‘No chance!’ the Duchess replies, in her trademark deep dulcet voice. For while the woman the world has come to know (and love) as ‘Fergie’ is all too willing to do her bit, it soon becomes apparent that this time, it is going to be on her own terms.
Having already written 77 books, almost all for children, her first foray into adult literature – with the Mills & Boon ‘bodice ripper’ Her Heart for a Compass, published next month – opens a new chapter on what has been a rather colourful life. From being photographed having her toes sucked, to standing by her ex-husband the Duke of York throughout the scandal over his friendship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, the mother-of-two insists it is finally time ‘to be selfish, for once’. With wide-eyed sincerity, she fixes me with a steely gaze as she declares: ‘This is about me saying, it’s not about the Duchess, it’s not about Fergie, it’s about me, Sarah.’
So if she is simply ‘Sarah’ – who is the Duchess? And is Fergie just an alter ego who plays to the royal groupies?
‘I’m like an astronaut,’ she continues, with characteristic kookiness. ‘The Duchess, Fergie… I carry these labels with me, they are always in my wardrobe – but this is me. It’s not about what’s happened in the past or the Royal family. I’m proud to say that to you. It’s very courageous, actually.’
The Duchess has been hunkered down with her ex-husband at Royal Lodge, the Windsor home they still share despite separating nearly 30 years ago, throughout lockdown, following the fallout from the Duke’s disastrous Newsnight appearance in November 2019. The car-crash interview, which took place while Sarah was out of the country, resulted in Prince Andrew, 61, ‘stepping back from public duties for the foreseeable future’. Aside from recording Storytime with Fergie and Friends during lockdown – a series of Jackanory-style You
Tube videos in which the Duchess reads stories to children – the York family has kept a remarkably low profile ever since, despite Princess Beatrice, 32, getting married last July, and Princess Eugenie, 31, giving birth to her first child, August, in February.
Admitting to feeling ‘terrified’ about our interview, despite insisting, ‘I am proud of my failings,’ the Duchess nevertheless is happy to wax lyrical about her book, which is based on the life of her great-great-aunt, Lady Margaret Montagu Douglas Scott. Fifteen years in the making, she reveals she came up with the idea after researching her ancestry for an episode of the BBC’S Who Do You Think You Are?, which never got beyond the pre-production stage.
Although famed for being one of the most down to earth members of the House of Windsor, the Duchess’s aristocratic ancestry has always made her one of the ‘poshest’ royals – she is a great-great-granddaughter of the 6th Duke of Buccleuch, a great-granddaughter of the 8th Viscount Powerscourt and a descendant of the 1st Duke of Abercorn and of the 4th Duke of Devonshire. And while Her Heart for a Compass may be set in the Victorian era, which has long fascinated the Duchess, its themes bear an uncanny resemblance to her own royal life less ordinary; there are obvious parallels between Sarah and her red-headed heroine as the latter struggles to reconcile her desire to do her duty by her upper-class family and the urgings of her own heart.
‘It has been an opportunity to tell my story of self-discovery, the chance to feel closer to my past, ancestors and stories I grew up with,’ she says. ‘The main message I would like readers to take away from Margaret’s story is that no matter whether you make mistakes or get it all wrong, you keep going and fight for what you believe is your truth,’ she says – seemingly channelling Meghan on Oprah. ‘You have to lead with your heart. Personally, I feel more robust, authentic, confident in myself and who I am and where I’m going than ever, and that feelsarah,
ing is very much reflected at the end of Margaret’s journey.’
So much so, in fact, that the Duchess is already penning a second book for Harpercollins with her ‘collaborator and coauthor’ Marguerite Kaye, and is in talks with programme makers about the potential to make Her Heart for a Compass into a historical drama.
Having given her own tell-all interview to Ms Winfrey following her 1996 divorce, in which she declared that royal life was ‘not a fairy tale’, I wonder what she made of Harry and Meghan’s sensational sit down with the chat-show host earlier this year.
‘All I want to say on this is that Oprah helped me greatly when I went to the US and was interviewed by her,’ she says, diplomatically. ‘I’m a great supporter of Oprah and everything that she does.’
I’m not sure her former in-laws would quite see it that way, but the Duchess is clearly on her best behaviour, as she raises her head above the parapet for the first time in months. Even a question about how much she, as a self-styled royal rebel, might empathise with Harry and Meghan’s decision to quit the Royal family for the US fails to elicit much of a response. ‘I wouldn’t presume to give advice to Harry and Meghan, except to say to be happy,’ she says – clearly conscious that one word spoken out of turn is likely to generate a headline. A question about whether the royals are racist is also deflected with a comment about the Duchess of Sussex’s own publishing debut. ‘I think it’s wonderful that Meghan has written a children’s book; having done that myself, I know the effort it takes,’ says Sarah. ‘I did have to make my own way in the world when I left the family, and it is not always easy.’ The Duchess’s sense of loyalty is certainly commendable – not least when you consider the embarrassment the Duke and Duchess of Sussex caused her by failing to invite her to the evening reception of their wedding in May 2018. (It came after Sarah was famously left off the 1,900-strong guest list to William and Kate’s wedding in 2011.)
Although she may have gained a reputation for putting her foot in it over the years,
‘We always say we are the most contented divorced couple in the world’
there is certainly no mistaking the Duchess’s ongoing commitment to Queen and country. Describing Her Majesty as ‘a huge guiding influence in my life’, she says earnestly: ‘She is the most extraordinary lady and most extraordinary head of state and most extraordinary mother-in-law.
‘For me her dedication of her entire life to the service of her country is an inspiration, as it is to people around the world.’
Sarah’s relationship with her fatherin-law, the Duke of Edinburgh, has meanwhile long been a source of fascination, not least after Prince Philip allegedly described her as ‘odd and pointless’. He apparently never forgave her for ‘toe-gate’, when compromising images of her cavorting with her financial adviser, the Texan millionaire John Bryant, were splashed across the front pages while she was holidaying with her in-laws at Balmoral Castle in 1992. The Duchess had to suffer the ignominy of an ‘excruciating’ breakfast during which a ‘furious’ Queen pored over the pictures of ‘Fergie’s stolen kisses’. She later revealed the toll the incident took on her mental health, saying: ‘It was so bad that I believed I was this worthless human being. I thought maybe Prince Philip was right.’
Pondering on the incident, she added at
the time: ‘I don’t want to develop a thicker skin. I want to know, not why he says I’m odd and pointless, but why it affects me. What is it in me I need to fix and heal?’
While Prince Philip could never see past the embarrassment the incident caused, her relationship with the Queen thawed – and she continues to be invited to the Scottish Highlands every summer. Palace insiders say the 95-year-old monarch has always admired the way the Duchess has not only been ‘such a good mother’ to Beatrice and Eugenie, but also crucially, such a stalwart support of her ‘favourite’ son. In June 2019, the Queen even invited her former daughter-in-law to join the family for the penultimate day of Royal Ascot.
I ask whether she managed to make peace with Prince Philip before his death in April, but again the answer is somewhat circumspect. ‘The Duke was an extraordinary consort, father and grandfather, and his passing has left a great void in the family. He served his nation and the Queen with incredible dedication for almost 70 years.’
On the subject of her immediate family, the Duchess is, thankfully, a little more forthcoming. Much has been made of the fact she still shares a home – and possibly even a bedroom – with Andrew, prompting rumours that they will one day remarry.
Interestingly, she does not dismiss the suggestion out of hand, but instead answers with an intriguing: ‘All I can say is that we’re happy with the way we are right now.’
Is there anyone else in her life, then? ‘I will say this: I feel very sorry for young people trying to date during this pandemic. It must be a nightmare! In answer to your question, there’s no one in my life.’
Sensing my raised eyebrow, she attempts
to explain her relationship with Andrew, to whom she was first introduced by Diana, Princess of Wales, at Royal Ascot in 1985. As the daughter of Major Ronald Ferguson and his first wife, Susan, the young redhead was descended from the Duke of Devonshire as well as Charles II and James VI and slotted in perfectly to the royal circle, being from what she once described as ‘country gentry with a bit of old money’.
The love-struck couple announced their engagement less than a year later, but when Andrew’s military career meant they only saw each other for 40 days a year in the first five years of their marriage, things quickly started falling apart. Her friendship with another Texan multimillionaire, Steve
Wyatt, gained much publicity when photographs of the pair together were published in the newspapers in January 1992, two months before her separation from Andrew was announced.
Having reportedly received a lump sum of £3 million and £15,000 a year as a divorce settlement, the Duchess then embarked on a series of commercial deals with the likes of Weight Watchers, Wedgwood and Avon, which saw her accused of ‘cashing in’ on her royal status. Constantly plagued by stories about her profligate spending, she was forced to apologise for a ‘gigantic error’ in allowing Jeffrey Epstein to pay off some of her debts in 2011. Yet just as she has stood by Andrew, so too has the Duke continued to support his ex-wife, both financially and emotionally. Describing their unique set-up, she says: ‘We always say we are the most contented divorced couple in the world. We’re divorced to each other, not from each other. We are co-parents who support each other and believe that family is everything. I’m proud of the job we have done together in bringing up our children and sustaining a strong family unit.
‘Our bywords are communication, compromise and compassion.’
Any mention of the Newsnight interview proves another dead-end street, however. ‘I
am so excited to be a first-time novelist and I’m here to talk about my book. I’m not going to concentrate on the negativity of the past; instead I’m focusing on my creative plans for the future.’
‘Loving’ being a granny, the Duchess then enters into a riff on how she ‘doesn’t really agree with age as a concept’. ‘I have always lived in a children’s world and liked to be a bit different,’ she says, proudly revealing how Storytime with Fergie and Friends – designed to ‘bring a smile to a child’s face’ – has ‘had over a million hits’ and is still proving popular post-lockdown. It has also prompted a tie-up with The Children’s Literacy Charity, of which Sarah has just become patron, in a bid to ‘close the gap
for children left behind by the pandemic’.
‘I believe life is ageless and that’s how I feel most of the time. I think what you get from being older is perhaps the wisdom to look at life differently. I certainly feel more authentic and sure of myself and where I am going than ever.
‘There’s a Martin Luther King quote that I live by: “Occasionally in life, there are those moments of unutterable fulfilment which cannot be entirely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.”’
I’m treated to a similar bout of soulsearching during the shoot when she suddenly turns around, mid-photo, and asks: ‘If there was one seat left on the lifeboat, would you take it?’ Agreeing with my suggestion that adults should probably give their seats over to children, she says, ‘Yes, I’d give it to my girls.’
Say what you like about Sarah (and many people do), there is arguably no faulting the way she has brought up ‘Bea and Eug’, who have grown into remarkably well-adjusted young women who have managed to carve out their own careers while remaining faithful to the family ‘firm’.
So what is Sarah’s secret? ‘I think being a good mother is about listening, it’s about taking action when you need to and it’s about integrity,’ she says. ‘Whenever one of my girls had had a bad day, I used to shut the door, turn the phone off and really focus on what they wanted to tell me. We still do that to this day. Instead of simply telling a child something, I always found it best to try to lead by example.’
While it’s easy to question that statement – not least in light of the cash-for-access scandal which saw the Duchess attempt to broker a meeting between her ex-husband and an undercover News of the World reporter posing as a businessman for £500,000 in 2010 – there is no doubt she has led by example when it comes to demonstrating the power of resilience. Indeed, it is when discussing her treatment by the press in the 1980s and 1990s that Sarah finally shows some of the heart-on-sleeve candour that has historically tended to land her in hot water.
‘Being the focus of public scrutiny and criticism does take a toll on mental health, inevitably,’ she admits. ‘I’ve been very open about how difficult it was when the tabloids criticised my weight and my choices and called me the “Duchess of Pork”.
‘I remember one headline when a newspaper had run a poll and claimed that 82 per cent of people would rather sleep with a goat than Fergie. Of course that undermines your self-confidence and your self-worth. You start to believe that the whole world does think you are fat and frumpy.
‘I’m prepared to be quite open about the fact that my mental health has suffered thanks to some of the criticism I came in for, and things that happened in my childhood, such as my mother leaving when I was a teenager. I certainly had an unhealthy relationship with food for a long time. I’ve been in therapy in the past to deal with those issues.’ Describing her subsequent behaviour as a form of ‘self-sabotage’, she adds, ‘It was almost as if I wanted to be unlovable.’
And yet there is something immensely lovable about a Duchess who has always unashamedly been her rather eccentric self. I wonder if she took comfort from the warm reception she received at Eugenie’s wedding to Jack Brooksbank in October 2018, when well-wishers outside Windsor Castle started chanting her name. ‘Yes, it was lovely to see how the crowd responded, though of course it was Eugenie’s day, not mine. It was one of the proudest moments of my life to see her standing tall and strong down that aisle, showing her scoliosis scar to the world.
‘Beatrice’s wedding was very different, as thousands of other people’s had to be during the pandemic. It was an intimate and beautiful family occasion.’
Referring back to some of the negative media attention, she adds, ‘As I’ve said, some of those headlines affected me deeply at the
time. Earlier in my life, I spent time and energy trying to please everybody, but now I’ve learnt that’s impossible. I have learnt that when you walk into a room 50 per cent of the people there may like you, 50 per cent may not, and that’s just fine.’
Yet while the tabloids may have cleaned up their act, the Duchess remains concerned about ‘anonymous hate-posting’ on social-media platforms.
‘Honestly, much of it is an absolute sewer,’ she grimaces. ‘People say things to each other they wouldn’t dream of saying in the real world. I find it abhorrent that people spend so much time and energy being so cruel to others. It’s too easy for people to post hatred and bile towards others with no consequences whatsoever. If you want to post that kind of thing, I think you should be required to put it in your own name.’
She also remains concerned that ‘prominent women in particular are still set up in opposition to each other in the way they always have been’. Which brings us neatly to the subject of Diana. The Duchess was famously pitted against her more glamorous sister-in-law in the press, but as we speak on the day William and Harry unveil the statue of their beloved mother at Kensington Palace, her memories of her ‘best friend in the world’ are touchingly heartfelt. ‘I loved her from the minute I met her when I was 14 to the minute she passed away,’ she says. ‘There was nobody like her and there never will be.
‘I especially remember her tinkling laughter and her enormous sense of fun, and I’m sure that none of that would have changed had she been with us at 60.
‘She is always in my heart. She was my best friend then and still is now. There is no better example of giving from the heart to the world than her.’
I wonder what Diana might have made of William and Harry’s ongoing rift?
‘I’m not going to get into that,’ the Duchess replies. ‘However, I think Diana would be so immensely proud of both of her boys, their wives and the families they have created. She and I would be great rivals at who could win the three-legged race at the grandchildren’s sports days and tea parties. But then she always ran faster than me!’
Seemingly reflecting on all the Princess has missed out on, she appears genuinely grateful as she adds: ‘I am comfortable with myself today: I love my red hair, I love my thin ankles, and I love my waistline.
‘I also feel really proud to be a first-time novelist at the age of 61: I want to beat Jeffrey Archer in the bestseller list, as I have told him! I feel as if I’m just beginning my life and I’m so excited about all the things that I’ve got left to achieve.’
‘We’re divorced to each other, not from each other. We are co-parents who support each other’
As well as the second novel, the Duchess is working with scriptwriter Mark Gill on a screenplay about Princess Louise, the mother of Prince Albert, which she hopes will be made into a film in the vein of The Young Victoria, the Holly