AINSLEY HARRIOTT

What is he on? I think Harriott runs on pure vibes only, which doesn’t explain his need to dance or sing every 30 seconds, or how he draws more happiness from ordinary things than a spaniel, but it does make me jealous. What’s in the sauce, Ainsley? ‘Oooo gorgeous stuff. Would you look at that. Yes, yes!’

FLAGSHIP PRODUCT

A chef ’s hat that you put on, close your eyes, then shimmy before chopping a red pepper quite recklessly.