Peregrinations

Paris waiters are given etiquette lessons

Anthony Peregrine

The Euro 2016 soccer thrash is just around the corner. France in general, and Paris in particular, are both terribly excited – all that tourist cash – and worried. I’m not talking security concerns. I mean the haunting fear that they’ll blow the PR opportunity through the legendary arrogance of their waiters and other leisure-service providers. Thus the authorities have, this week, re-launched the “Do You Speak Tourist(e)?” project to knock a few manners into catering trade recalcitrants.

I never really bought the idea of snooty French waiters. Over decades in France, I’ve come across remarkably few (and, as an Englishman, can outsnoot them effortlessly). The misconception arises because French waiters are not, as in Britain, youths filling in time until their real lives begin. They are professionals pursuing a profession considered worthy of respect. This is evident in the aprons, bow-ties and ages of the practitioners. That’s why French service outstrips our own. These fellows (they are generally men) can take an order for 15 different drinks, deliver them on one tray, shout at a passing taxi, give directions to the Centre Pompidou and still get the change right.

They are justifiably dignified, which is not the same thing as arrogant. And, frankly, if they’re a little shirty when, in English, you change seven of the 15 drinks, you very much had it coming.

But a reputation is a reputation, and tourist authorities in the Paris region have to do something to earn their cash. So we have the “Do You Speak Tourist(e)?” website and booklet detailing for restaurateurs and hoteliers how to handle foreigners. The British – the most numerous visitors – aren’t mad about shopping (except for alcohol, cheese and chocolate), appreciate culture with a playful dimension and have firm views on how meat should be cooked. Americans are more direct, and sensitive to tobacco smoke. Germans are selfsufficient and precise, Indians – as relative newcomers – might appear worried and impatient, while Russians appreciate visitor advice which comes sure and swift.

Meanwhile, it pays to look after the Japanese – they like cleanliness and exactitude, detesting the unforeseen – if only because, of all nationalities, they spend the most: €214 (£163) per day per head, against our €154 (£117) and just €88 (£67) for provincial French visitors to their capital. Other DYST material outlines sample dialogues, our Parisian waiter being advised to end conversations with: “Have a good day.” Were I a French waiter, I might account this a bloody nerve. I might further suggest that Euro 2016 visitors would be significantly more impressed if transport services and electricity supplies were functioning, and riots kept to as few as humanly possible.