The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - Travel
The holiday that changed me ‘I cried. I did not want to leave’
Actor, comedian and presenter Adil Ray reconnected with his roots on a father-andson trip to Pakistan
Iwas born in Birmingham to a Pakistani Punjabi father and a Kenyan Indian mother. Growing up in Birmingham, I didn’t really feel any connection to Pakistan, but then, when I was 12, my father decided to visit his family, who were living in a village near Jhelum, which is pretty much equidistant between Lahore and Islamabad. He wanted me to join him once school had finished for Christmas. My parents had divorced two years prior, so this was a chance to spend time with him and really get to know his side of the family.
My uncle and my brother drove me down to London Heathrow to get on the plane to Islamabad. It was the first time I’d been on a big plane like that on my own, so I was stressed and feeling a bit strange. On top of that, my dad had insisted that I wore a shirt, a tie and a suit so that I looked really smart when I got off at the other end.
My dad and my uncle were there to meet me in Pakistan, and we hopped into a vintage old taxi to get to my dad’s village. But as we got closer to his old home, the road ahead was flooded and water started coming through the rickety old taxi. I remember we got through, albeit with wet feet.
It was a bit of a culture shock at first. Because the energy companies were load-shedding, suddenly at 8pm all the electricity went and the candles came out. Also, this was back in the 1980s, when a lot of these villages didn’t have running tap water, so we drew water from a well nearby. To go to the lavatory, my dad would take me to a field, which was a 20-minute walk from the village, and he would say, “Walk as far as you can, then when you turn around and you can’t see anybody or people look like little, sort of dots in the distance, just find an appropriate place and do your business,” and that’s what I had to do.
However, as the days passed by, and I got to know my relatives, I had a great time. I really enjoyed meeting and playing with all my cousins, and getting so much love – they all adored me. It felt warm to me, although it got cold in the evenings. Come daytime, though, it was beautiful, sunny weather. I’d be sitting in my T-shirt and jeans while other family members had blankets wrapped around them. By the third or fourth day, I was wearing traditional Pakistani attire, shalwar kameez.
I loved the food. The curry that my aunts made wasn’t like anything I had tasted before. It was just incredible and so fresh. You’d see the chickens running around in the day and then realise in the evening that you’d eaten one of them. They grew their own vegetables, too. I remember one of my aunts cooking what can only be described as a sort of bread and butter pudding, and it was sublime. I loved it so much, I think she made it about three or four times while I was there.
People had radios, but televisions were few and far between. I remember my family sitting there in the evenings, in candlelight, drinking hot tea, eating lovely food, telling jokes and laughing. I can still hear my aunts laughing all the time.
When we weren’t in the village, my dad took me around the country. He showed me Lahore and Islamabad, so I got to see the tourist sites, the markets and the nightlife. I was just completely fascinated. This was the first time being surrounded by people like me. They spoke the dialect of Punjabi that we spoke at home and they felt like family. Realising that there was a whole group of people like me who lived on the other side of the world was a strange and fantastic feeling. At the end of the holiday, I cried. I didn’t want to leave my family.
Coming back from Pakistan gave me massive stories to tell, and something really unique to share with my friends. When it was Eid, I went to school and said to the teacher, “It is Eid today and
I’ve brought some Pakistani sweets to share with the class.” The teacher replied, “Oh, that’s great. Do you want to tell people what Eid is about?” That trip gave me something to be really proud of. I’ve always been quite grateful and appreciative of what my parents chose to do. Only one of my dad’s siblings decided to come to the UK. My dad was the first to make that journey, make those sacrifices and work so hard. Going over to Pakistan made me realise how fortunate I am and how lucky to have parents with such resilience and determination to go to another country and give their children a whole different opportunity in life.
As told to Roz Lewis
Lingo is on ITV at 3pm on weekdays and is available on the ITV Hub. Adil Ray stars alongside Dame Judi Dench in the Noël Coward comedy classic Blithe Spirit, screening now on Sky Cinema. Overseas holidays are currently subject to restrictions. See Page 3.