t’s one of the most with a Guardian under her awkward feelings in the arm. It’s about persuading the world. You’re enthusing guy carrying Nuts or Zoo that wildly about something, your he might really enjoy it, too, face alight with passion, and even if it does have longer you suddenly realise that the words and fewer pictures. other person couldn’t give a And, of course, convincing monkey’s. Worse, that they him that I’m not some kind of actively dislike what you’re religious nutcase. recommending. Or even

Š worse, that they’re fairly Matthew Norman had convinced you’re a some fun in Sport last Scientologist. week with the vacuity of

This Monday, 20,000 people Olympic slogans – and sure – myself included – will get enough, London 2012’s the chance to enjoy precisely “Inspire a Generation” is a that sensation, as we try to worthy heir to “Friends convince the British public to Forever” or “Light the Fire accept half a million free Within”. books as part of World Book Yet when it comes to Night. In theory, it should be blanding your brand, sport an easy job. Last year, when I only gets the bronze medal. was persuaded by one of the Silver goes to the politicians organisers to hand out Agent who gave us the “Great Zigzag, Ben Mcintyre’s ripIgnored” and the “Alarm roaring tale of wartime Clock Heroes” (either a C-list derring-do, I felt sure people rock group, or a D-list crimewould snatch them out of fighting team). And gold, by a my hands. mile, belongs to the tourism

To be fair, many did. But far industry. more than I’d expected The examples are legion, seemed vaguely resentful of but it’s hard to beat “Alaska – the whole idea (“A book? Why North to the Future”, “Wales – would I want one of those?”). the Big Country”, or Others took in my fixed grin “Northamptonshire – Let and evangelical glint, and Yourself Grow” (£100,000, that made their excuses before I cost). The worst-ever used to started telling them the good appear on the A421, just past news about L Ron Hubbard. Buckingham. Having

To the cynics, World Book obviously decided that their Night must seem like own county had nothing to windmill-tilting. After all, offer, the authorities came up aren’t books meant to be with “Bedfordshire – Central going the way of Ceefax, or to the Oxford-cambridge good manners? Arc”. They might as well have

Well, no, they’re not. Polls written: “We Suck – But You show that reading has been Still Have to Go Through Us.” rising in popularity for

Š decades; literary festivals such Proper tourist as Hay are attracting huge destinations don’t need crowds; and even if sales of any silly slogans. Just look at paperbacks are falling, those London – why spend a fortune of ebooks are shooting up. on marketing and consultants The real challenge is not to when you’ve got Rules save books, but to widen the restaurant, Berry Bros wine circle of those who love them. merchants, and Portobello

Which is why World Book Road? According to Night is something that’s not Newsweek, these are three of just fun, but really worth the 10 places in the capital doing – and why it’s giving that make you “leap with joy” another half a million books (as well as more conventional to hospitals, prisons, choices such as Westminster homeless charities and so on. Abbey and the Courtauld Because it’s not about me Gallery). I don’t know how slipping a copy of my chosen often the writer has tried to title (this year it’s The Damned shoulder his way through Utd, David Peace’s Portobello, but as far as I can magnificently visceral tell, the only ones leaping are “autobiography” of Brian those who’ve just realised Clough) to the nice woman their pocket’s been picked.

>> telegraph.co.uk/personalview