SECURITY in the Commons is strong, which was good news for Alistair Carmichael. Mr Carmichael is the Scottish Lib Dem MP who leaked the civil service memo alleging Nicola Sturgeon privately wanted the Tories to win the election.
Yesterday on the green benches he found himself surrounded by several dozen Scottish Nationalists, like a leg of lamb in a tank of piranha.
He was the first to speak during the day’s main business, the committee stage of the Scotland Bill (which offers more powers to Holyrood). A few minutes into his speech, a Labour MP made a helpful intervention.
“Lots of [MPs] hope he’s successful in standing up to the people sitting in front of him,” shouted Ian Austin (Dudley North), “who clearly want to create a oneparty state in Scotland, and whose supporters engage in the most disreputable bullying tactics to silence any dissent in that country!” Mr Carmichael did not look wholly grateful for this expression of support.
“I’m not sure his remarks are germane to the matter before the House,” he gulped, as the piranha circled, ever more frenzied.
The SNP purports to want Full Fiscal Autonomy, an arrangement that would mean Scotland keeping all it raised in taxes, and using that money for its own spending. It might also mean Scotland having less money (£7.6 billion, says the Institute for Fiscal Studies). Happily for the SNP, the Government isn’t offering FFA, which leaves the SNP in an ideal position: free to accuse the Government of ignoring it, without having to worry about how it would cope if the Government listened to it.
Support for the SNP’s supposed desires, however, came from an interesting source: English Tory backbenchers. In particular, Sir Edward Leigh (Con, Gainsborough) spoke with relish of his desire to see Scotland stand on its own two economic feet. “My aim is not to trap the SNP, or call their bluff, or reveal their timidity,” he insisted, innocently. “I genuinely want to give the Scots what they want: freedom to run their own affairs – and not to blame others if things go wrong!” The SNP eyed Sir Edward with suspicion. Who did this Englishman think he was, offering them everything they had demanded?
How dare he presume to give them what they wanted!
“I’m not trying to play party-political games!” trilled Sir Edward. “I really do want to be helpful!” The SNP looked unconvinced. “Full Fiscal Autonomy results in full fiscal responsibility!” he went on, encouragingly.
“That’s what real parliaments do!” (“Real”? Was this big-mouthed Sassenach suggesting the Scottish parliament wasn’t “real”? Also: why had he just made reference to “the oil running out”?)
Finally Sir Edward wound up.
“Will those who argued for Full Fiscal Autonomy now vote for it?” he asked, sweetly. “Will they go on blaming the UK government for what goes wrong, or have the courage to grasp what they say they want?”
Come on, SNP. Don’t let some English Tory tell you what to do.