Prince George will show that the terrible twos can be terrific

Prince George, he of the retro romper set and occasionally grumpy brow, turns two today. As he does so, an avalanche of maternal wisdom will be directed at the supposedly hapless (yeah, right) Kate on how to deal with the third in line to the throne as he becomes an enfant terrible.

I will not be adding to it. Yes, there are negative things that the Duchess of Cambridge will doubtless already be discovering: the inexplicable tantrums; the random outbursts of violence; the enraged cutlery-throwing; the relentless demands about everything from iPad use to preferred foods. Believe me, many is the time I’ve been smacked in the face by my children apropos of nothing. But, as my second child approaches this milestone, I think it’s time to stand up and declare that two-yearolds are terrific, not terrible.

Consider their totally uncompromising approach to absolutely everything. When it comes to resolute psychological manipulation, CIA torturers have nothing on a two-year-old. “Want tee-vee.” “Not now darling.” “Want tee-vee.” “Not now darling.” “WANT TEE-VEE.” “Enough! You can’t have it.” “WANT TEE-VEE.” And so on, ad nauseam until finally, you crack and switch the damn thing on. It’s exhausting, and yet also impressive. Trying to get a paste-loaded toothbrush in their mouths? Not a chance. Want to spoon the food in to speed things along a bit? As if. Two-year-olds are fiercely independent. You can only admire their tenacity, wonder at the strength of their personality – and inevitably, weep at the weakness of your own. But at least you know what they want.

Which is, often, and sometimes only inadvertently, to do the right thing. As every canny mother knows, they delight in being helpful, as it makes them feel grown-up. Channel this. Can’t be

bothered to unload the dishwasher? Commandeer a two-year-old ( just make sure the plates are plastic). Want someone to pick things up off the floor while you recline on the sofa? It’s a dream job for a toddler – as long as you’re not too fussy about what happens to said items.

It only gets better: once they head towards three, you can teach them to use the Nespresso machine.

They also start learning to talk – and sing. Is there anything more charming than the sound of a waddling mite disjointedly warbling Old Macdonald

Had A Farm to himself, complete with snorting noises for the pigs as he potters about the house? Or the sheer delight you’ll experience as a chubby finger points towards something and a sound approximating its name comes out?

Experts reckon that the average two-year-old manages to add about five new words to their vocabulary every day. That’s a lot of “aah” moments. And, admittedly, some embarrassing ones. “Mummy, BOOBS!” shouted loudly in the supermarket comes to mind. But at least it gives you something to laugh about.

For toddlers are hilarious in their limitations as well as their incredible development. They completely miss the point of hide and seek. They think it’s really funny to pretend to be asleep – but smile when they’re doing it and give the game away. Sure, there is the odd tantrum, but the upsides more than make up for the down.

Besides, I found that with boys, the terribleness comes later. It’s three that Kate really wants to watch out for.