Empty seats, £25 teddy bears and the girl with the Farage tattoo
NIGEL FARAGE was gazing in delight at his own face. “It’s astonishing!” he honked.
The Ukip leader was not, however, looking in the mirror. He was looking at the bicep of a 38-year-old woman, who had his face tattooed on to it.
Cameramen crowded around as a guffawing Mr Farage autographed her arm. When they dispersed, I asked the woman – Kerrie Webb, a Ukip member from Derbyshire – what had inspired her to express her devotion in this way.
“That’s just the sort of person I am,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“Nigel’s a hero. He’s got vision. I can see it in his face.” And now she can see it on her arm. Nope, there’s no conference quite like a Ukip conference. This year’s is at Doncaster Racecourse. As ever, the souvenir stands were a sight to behold. Ukip teddy bears, a snip at £25; knitting patterns for a Ukip woolly jumper; anti-EU slush-puppy drinks (purple or yellow).
Unusually for Ukip, the hall wasn’t full; rows of seats sat empty in the wings. The official excuse is that, since Mr Farage has been on a tour of town halls, some members have decided there’s no need to attend conference, too. Well, well. I never thought the day would dawn when Ukip supporters had seen enough of Nigel Farage. The conference opened with everyone standing to sing God Save the Queen. “That’s how you do it, Jezza!” crowed the local party chairman. (Ukip are keen to ensure their voters agree that Jeremy Corbyn is not a patriot.)
The main event was Mr Farage’s speech. To bellows of acclaim, he sauntered on stage, loudspeakers blaring the 1986 single by Europe, The
Final Countdown. I believe this is what marketing experts call subliminal messaging.
The election, Mr Farage conceded, hadn’t quite worked out as hoped, but the Tories had won only because of “that woman north of the border”. Anyway, things were looking up: Labour had elected Jeremy Corbyn (titters from audience), and there was no way a non-patriot like him was going to take votes off Ukip.
The rest of the speech was about the EU referendum campaign, a conflict that, said Mr Farage innocently, would leave David Cameron looking like “piggy in the middle”.
Aside from The Girl With the Farage Tattoo, the conference had one other notable attendee: the professional controversialist Katie Hopkins, who on arrival declared that the photo of a drowned refugee boy must have been “staged”.
A Ukip source took pains to stress that the party leadership was “perturbed” by Hopkins’s presence, and that Mr Farage had refused to be interviewed by her.
At last: someone who’s too politically incorrect for Ukip.