Water pistols beat off vicious mating swans

RESIDENTS of a tranquil over-50s complex say they are having to defend themselves with water pistols, brooms and hoses against two “vicious” swans.

The pair had lived quietly on a river next to Hope Mill Park near Stroud, Glos, for years but in mating season have become very territorial, also reportedly attacking the postman, cyclists, vehicles and pecking windows.

Angela Helbrow said she is frightened to step outside to hang up wash- ing unless she has a hose ready: “It’s an absolute nightmare. I’m scared to leave the house at times. They are just so vicious. We’re fed up.”

Barbara Morse, 66, who wields a water pistol, said: “They attacked my great-granddaughter. It scared her half to death. I think the entire community would like to see these swans moved to a more suitable location. We and the swans would benefit.”

But other park residents claim the birds are part of the site’s natural charm. Glynis Robinson said: “They are magnificent creatures who have more right than we do to live by the river. I have seen people with small children feeding them who are perfectly safe.”

A Hope Mill spokesman said: “For 10 months of the year they are perfectly OK. They are protected birds. There is nothing we can do.”

A surprising number of people seem to think that to annoy a swan is tantamount to treason and deserves hanging at least, if not drawing and quartering. This attitude is grounded on the presumption that all swans belong to the Queen. But the Queen, as Seigneur of the Swans, exercises her right to mark ownership only over swans on the Thames, and even there allows the Vintners and Dyers their moiety of birds.

Taking a water-pistol to a swan, however, as some citizens of Stroud, Gloucestershire, have being doing, seems too close to lèse-majesté. They have, by their own account, been driven to it. “It has become a living hell,” said one resident who had retired to Stroud for a quiet life. “I was doing my knitting last week and they came right up from the river to the patio doors and began pecking on the window.” If that counts as a living hell in Stroud, it must be an earthly paradise at other times. One swan was accused of hissing at lorries and another of making the postman run the gauntlet, which does sound anti-social.

How, though, should the infernal swans of Stroud best be dealt with? After all, everyone knows that the creatures are bad-tempered and can break an arm with the blink of an eyelid. But isn’t that, along with their calm dignity on the water, part of the nature of these regal birds? Like the rise and fall of the river Frome, the hiss and peck of its native swans are things to be lived with.