Chancellor taken to task by a funereal Eeyore

LABOUR MPs rarely have a good word to say about George Osborne, but Chris Bryant, shadow leader of the House, is big enough to give credit where credit is due. He was fully in support, he told the Commons yesterday, of the tax on sugary drinks.

“I am delighted,” he said innocently, “that the Chancellor has finally realised the dangers of Coke.” For some reason, a lot of Labour MPs laughed.

Mr Osborne wasn’t present to hear these kind words, but he turned up later for the continuation of the Budget debate. This was led by John McDonnell, the shadow chancellor. Mr McDonnell’s previous appearances at the dispatch box have been somewhat excitable. During his response to the Autumn Statement three months ago, he unexpectedly started waving a copy of the Little Red Book by the Communist dictator Chairman Mao.

And last October, during a debate on the fiscal charter, he criticised his own policy U-turn by shouting: “Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Yes, of course it is!”

Possibly someone has had a word with him and suggested a slightly calmer approach, because yesterday his tone was sober.

In fact, it was more than sober. It was funereal. The near-Dickensian gloom of his voice made it sound as if he’d been hoping upon hope that Mr Osborne’s Budget would be a wildly acclaimed triumph, and was heartbroken to discover that his hero had fallen short.

“He’s missed every major target he’s set himself,” said Mr McDonnell mournfully, like Eeyore contemplating a trampled thistle. “He said he would balance the books by 2015, but the deficit this year is set to be more than £72 billion … Most independent analysts today describe him as failing…”

His tone wasn’t mocking. It was crestfallen. I kept expecting a Labour colleague to put an arm round the poor man and try to comfort him.

“There there, John, it’s all right. George will be fine, don’t worry. Anyway, once our side’s lost the EU referendum, he’ll be free to go and find a lovely new job – because by then, Boris Johnson will be in charge!

“He’s bags of fun, old Boris! Always puts a smile on everyone’s faces, doesn’t he? There, that’s cheered you up, hasn’t it, John? John?”

One Tory MP, however, found Mr McDonnell’s pessimism excessive.

“Does he not remember that the economy was on life support in 2010 when the Chancellor took over?” cried Alok Sharma (Reading West). “The body of the economy was barely twitching!” The conviction with which Mr Sharma said this was fascinating. Just before Mr Osborne took over in 2010, the economy was growing at 1.2 per cent. It’s currently growing at 0.5 per cent. Yet so insistent has been Mr Osborne’s message about Clearing Up Labour’s Mess, that it’s been widely accepted as fact.

It just goes to show: if you repeat something often enough, people will believe it. Indeed, you may even start believing it yourself.