Midlife guide to... ...Rage Yoga

“Downward-facing dog, tree-pose, inhale, exhale, now scream the F-word at the top of your voice…”

I beg your pardon?

Oh, sorry – I was just practising my rage yoga. It makes one feel so zen!

I thought yoga was supposed to be about standing on your head, not losing your head.

You’re thinking of yoga in its most traditional form. Today, practitioners have developed a yoga that is best conducted while swearing with every exhale. Apparently, it is much better suited to modern life.

But won’t shouting and swearing make me feel more like I’m stuck in a traffic jam and less like I have reached a place of inner calm?

Yogis in Canada came up with rage yoga as a reaction against the overly serene pace of regular classes, where it was all a bit too earth-goddessy. Instructors began to encourage their classes to think of ex-boyfriends and bosses who make them see red and told them to shout out obscenities while exhaling. Apparently, it is surprisingly therapeutic.

I have had a tough time at work recently… so might this make me feel better?

Exactly. Advocates of rage yoga would recommend you conjure up all that anger and let it go during your traditional breathing exercises.

That would be quite cathartic. Where can I sign up?

Rage yoga is only a thing in Canada right now, but classes might be broadcast to devotees online, so watch this space.

I can hardly wait!

Namaste. Or something.